Getting toddlers to eat...

So this is a big challenge in this house but things have been changing.  First off, I discovered melatonin for kids and it's a huge lifesaver.  G just wasn't going to sleep.  Kept getting up, fix my blankets, I'm thirsty, I have to potty, etc... Anyway, we tried this and it worked so well.  She went to bed on her own, slept all night and got up early without any fuss.  

Next issue is mealtime.  Every night same question, what's for dinner?  Next question, do I eat it?  I always say yes.  On the weekend we had tacos.  I thought she liked tacos but suddenly she wouldn't touch it.  I saw that they had these soft taco boats.  I thought, why not, maybe that's why she won't eat it.  It falls out of the shell and frustrates her.  Well, that was it.  She loved it.  Ate almost the entire taco.  I guess the secret is to just get in the head of the child.  At least this time it worked.

Thank you El Paseo for your taco boats :)

Cleaning up....

So I'm more motivated than ever to get out of this house.  I want G and us to live a normal life and I don't think that will ever happen in this state.  The leadership here feels mighty powerful and doesn't want to let that power go.  So we need to move to a place that G can meet and have friends over.  Go to school full time.  Have after school functions in person.  Places like that exist but not here so much.  Any excuse to shut it down, happens.  Last year was hard.  But now we are in a groove and I want out before they get another excuse to shut it down.  

This month, I'm working on the office.  I'm getting rid of G's current bed and replacing it with the daybed in the office.  It'll look much nicer than what she has right now.  Then it'll also be easier to start packing up things and throwing things out.  Just taking baby steps to get there.  Once this room is done, I think it'll be easier to do the rest.  

Changes....

2020 was one year for the records.  So much happened.   It'll be a year on March 23rd that I started WFH.  A week later my daughters daycare closed down.  I had to figure out how to work from home and take care of a toddler that didn't understand why she was home from daycare.   I really don't remember much from those 2 months except the drink I had to unwind every night.  But we made it through and Giuli returned to daycare in June.  Next issue was dinners.  We were eating junk food all the time and I knew we needed to stop that.  I started planning our meals out each week.  Made tomato basil and meat sauce on a  regular basis and try to keep jars in the freezer for meals.  Found easy recipes we love through website searches.  I'm making a new recipe book so we can easily have them on hand when we want them.  I try to plan for the following week by the weekend so I can stock up on what's needed and plan according.  All this has helped with our eating budgets.  We get at least 2 meals out of every one that I cook.  No 2020 was a hard year but it forced me to change.  I think these changes are for the better.  Makes me a better person and a mom.  

Jumping in with two feet...

OK.  I've done it now.  I signed the paperwork.  Purchased my product.  I'm waiting for the rest of the training to be unlocked.  Nervous but excited.  I really see the potential.  The potential to learn something new.  The potential to bring me out of my comfort zone and challenge myself.  These are things I really can't object to.  It'll help me grow as a person to do this. And who can argue with that?

Anxiety...

 Lately, I've been feeling anxious and nervous.  Our finances are not good and I'm trying to find a way out of this hole we're in.  Is there a get rich quick scheme anywhere out there?  Maybe a reputable side business that I can do online?  I've been researching.  I know J is too.  I did find something but I'm so nervous about it.  Will it pay off.  The people who have tried say yes.  But with hard work and following the training they give us.  So scared I'm making a mistake but also praying it can and will pay off.  I'm not expecting money to just roll in but I have to try, right?  What's a little more money down the drain, right?  Maybe the training will help me with other future endeavors, right?  I see the pros and I see the cons.  Scary, right?  2020 has been a hard year and I need to put it past me.  Maybe this will help my family.  All I want to do is get our debts paid down so we can move out of this frozen tundra with a little dignity.

Sick kiddos...

 One of the things I hate the most is when my little one get's sick.  It always seems to come on so quickly and takes the spark out of her.  And of course I'm always thinking the worst.  She was fine on Saturday and early Sunday (she played in the snow) then went downhill quickly.  Fevers of 101-103 Sunday to Monday.  Then she recovered on Monday afternoon.  House looked like a tornado went through it and this Mama was overwhelmed.  And of course she couldn't go back to daycare till she was 24 hours without fever.  But she is better.  A bit cranky but better and now in school so Mama can get back to work.

2021 Giuliisms

Just starting the 2021 Giuli laughables....

• J walking with a cane.  Giuli "Daddy, are you an old man?"  Daddy "Yes I am."  Then laughs.  Giuli takes cane and says "I want to be an old man". Proceeds to try and walk with the cane that is taller than her.

• In the bathroom I tell Giuli to get some toilet paper and wipe.  She grabs the toilet paper and crumbles it into a ball then puts it between her but cheeks.  "Mommy, look....I'm a bunny" and starts to hop around the bathroom"  🤣

• J is watching Sunny Bunnies with G.  One Sunny Bunny is eating a snack and offers to share with another Sunny Bunny.  G says that's nasty.  And when the virus is over, it'll still be nasty.

• We're driving in the car and a loud car goes zooming by.  G say's that scared her. "It freaked me out"  Then she says, "It scared the crap out of me"🤣

• Giuli brings her barbie doll to sit in the bed with us while she watches her nighttime show.  She says she wants her to sleep in the bed with her.  Then she says mommy said we'll see which means yes.

Planning our exit...

J and I have been working on this for quite some time.  Seems like it always takes just about forever to get from A to B these days.  With J being home since May, yep, since May we've been working on doing what we can to fix up the house and get out of this state.  I like the friends I've made and my neighbors but we need to live somewhere that the cost of living isn't so crazy.  Our property tax on our house is almost the same as our mortgage payment.  And we don't have a big house or live in the best area.  Especially when it comes to school for Giuli.  

Anyways, since J has been home and collecting unemployment (not much) I was able to get a loan from my 401K.  A big loan.  We put in a fence and updated our landscaping.  Also, replaced the counter and sinks in the bathroom.  Sinks were cracked and the counter was part of the sink.  Replaced the front door and storm doo.  Also needed to use a lot to pay bills and just live.  So now we still have to fix the roof and the front steps to finish the outside.  Then we need to replace the carpet and flooring in 2 bathrooms.  Fix walls, change out light fixtures throughout the house and throw out lots and lots of stuff.  Just writing all this out gives me such anxiety.  Especially now that most of that money is gone and I need to start paying it back out of my check.  Ouch.  Talk about stress.  Hoping it will all pay off and we can pay down some debt that we are accumulating once we sell the house and move.  Can't wait till we are out of here.

Meat Sauce....

So I have this meat sauce recipe I've used for years that I got from San Giorgio pasta. They have a lot of good ones.  In the last year, a friend mentioned to add riced cauliflower for veggies.  Seemed like a good idea. I also made an error when looking in my pantry for crushed tomatoes.  I accidently grabbed diced tomatoes which was a good accident as we like it with both crushed and now a can of diced tomatoes.   Not long after, J started saying he really didn't like the meat sauce.  Not his thing.  So on Monday, I made the meat sauce. It's been a while and my little one loves it.  I didn't put in the cauliflower.  J now likes it again. Says it tastes better.  So for those wondering if cauliflower made a difference (I didn't think it would) it does.  Now we are all happy with the meat sauce again and I can add it back to our menu of dinners.

Meat Sauce recipe if you are interested

INGREDIENTS
1 lb ground beef
1/2 cup chopped onion
1 clove garlic, minced
28 oz can crushed tomatoes
1 14 oz can of diced tomatoes
1 cup water
6 oz can tomato paste
1 tablespoon fresh parsley
2 teaspoons dried basil
1 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon ground black pepper

DIRECTIONS:

Brown ground beef in a large skillet; add onion, garlic and cook until onion is tender. Stir in crushed tomatoes, diced tomatoes, water, tomato paste, parsley, basil, salt and pepper; simmer 30 minutes.

Freedom....

 Last week was an unusual.  The Capital was attacked by rioters and it made a lot of news.  What baffles me is the "mostly peaceful protests" that happened over the course of 2020 but didn't sound as harsh by most of the media.  Does our media really have that much power?  Should they be putting in their 2 cents if there job is to report the news.  They downplayed the riots and burning of businesses.  That's not right.  But then they go out of control on the protesters by the Capital.  We all have a right to free speech but I don't feel like I can do that on social media.  Should I worry about my job because of what I believe?  I'm not a protestor or a rioter.  I'm a Woman, a Mom, a Wife, a Sister, a Daughter.  I believe in what this country's constitution says but I know that I can't say what I believe in on social media for fear of retribution from my colleagues.  That is a sad day in this country when people have fear of expressing themselves.

Taco and Quesadilla Time...

Lately, my little one asks, "what's for dinner".  I'll tell her and the next sentence is "do I eat it".  I always say yes even if it is a new dish because it's usually the same foods cooked a little different.  Either way, I'm hoping she'll try them.  Now, we had luck with tacos a few times and quesadillas.  Then all the sudden, she was in rejection mode.  I want mac and cheese.  That's her comfort food.  So I made mac and cheese because I didn't want fighting.  I made taco meat, black beans, cheese, chopped tomato and lettuce.  J wanted hard taco shells but I opted for soft.  G say the soft and suddenly wanted a quesadilla.  so I made her one with cheese.  Then she decided to add black beans, tomatoes, lettuce and meat to it.  She ate half of mac and cheese and half a quesadilla she put together.  I guess that's a win for eating.  

Tomato Basil Soup...

This is one of my favorite recipes that I got from a friend.  We don't eat it as soup though.  We use it on our pasta.  If my 4 year old eats it up then I'm thrilled.  Nowadays, she'll ask, "do I eat that".  We always say yes even if she just picks at it.  However, she does eat this one most of the time.  

Tomato & Basil Soup
Servings: 6

Ingredients
2 Tbsp. olive oil
1 cup chopped carrot(s)
1 cup chopped onion(s)
1 cup chopped celery
1 tsp. dried thyme
2 tsp. minced garlic
1 leaf bay leaf
1 28 oz can and 1 14 oz can diced tomatoes
1 3/4 cup vegetable broth
1/2 cup heavy whipping cream
4 Tbsp. chopped basil

Directions
Heat 2 tablespoons olive oil in heavy large saucepan over medium heat. Add chopped carrots, onion and celery. Sauté` until beginning to soften, about 5 minutes. Mix in thyme, garlic and bay leaf. Add all canned tomatoes with their juices and vegetable stock. Simmer about 20 minutes. Add whipping cream; simmer 5 minutes. Mix in 4 tablespoons chopped fresh basil. Remove bay leaf. Working in batches, puree soup in blender. (Definitely small batches unless you are ok with it on your ceiling) Transfer to large saucepan. Season soup with salt and pepper. Serve over pasta or as a soup.

New year, new me....

 No doubt in anyone's mind, 2020 was not a good year.  Things changed and hoping it's not forever.  I would love to visit my family in the summer but not if it's still like this and if it is, probably won't go back to NY unless I have to.  I don't like the idea of living in a police state.  That is not American to me. 

On another note, I will try my hardest to improve my diet.  I noticed that when I eat my weight in sugar cookies, I don't feel that great.  Glad to say the sugar cookies are now gone and I'm quitting it cold turkey.  Just going to be mindful of what I put in my mouth so no big plans.  Just tracking and being mindful.  Drinking more water, less sugar.  

It's nice to get back to normal (haha).  At least what I've been used to the last 9 months.  In my office at home, working at my desk.    Setting my meal plans so we have things to eat at dinner other than fast food.  I guess that's one thing that WFH has helped with.  Making better dinners for us.  I refuse to go back to eating on the fly.  This is working out so much better for us.

4 Years Old already.....

Time has really flown by.  Just yesterday I was arguing with J about driving to the hospital to deliver this precious gift from God.  And now, she's a  beautiful,  strong willed, loving but devious little lady.  Each day is a gift with her.  All I can do now is pray that I raise her right.  Teach her to be thoughtful and caring.  Teach her to look out for others when they need it.  To share with others.  She is a bit hyperactive and sensitive to foods that may cause hyperactivity and aggression.  We've noticed it a lot when she eats foods with dyes.  Trying to eliminate that.  This week has been hard.  But I love spending time with her.  Wish I was a bit younger and had more energy.  Need to up the exercise so I can keep up with her more.  But I don't let it stop me from being with her.  No one knows better than I how much she's wanted and loved.  I prayed for her for years.  Had lost so much.  I remember I was scared that when I did get pregnant, I wouldn't know what to do.  I was so wrong.  I will always remember the struggle but it was all worth it in the end.

It's always ok in the end.  If it's not ok, then it's not the end.  

I guess I'm saying that it's ok now.  Our journey to three is now complete.  I wish I could have another but it's not in the cards for us.  

That's the good part of this post.  Here's the other half.  2020 has been the hardest year of my life.  We're surviving.  I'm not sure how sometimes but we are.  I have learned to adapt.  I will say, I'm grateful, G went back to school in June.  I wasn't doing very well at that point.  Working with a 3 year old who was crying and wanting someone to play with her was hard to deal with.  Unfortunately, the tablet became her friend more than I would have liked.  G was showing signs of depression and it made me sad.  I know people say kids are resilient but I don't want the world to shut down and see her spiral down like that.  Also, J has been home since May but hasn't been very helpful when it comes to cooking, cleaning or caring for G.  Maybe it's a bit of depression.  But it's been hard.  I've found ways to come up with meals to cook easily.  Crock pot meals are the easiest and I go for easy.  At this point, I'll be working from home till at least the summer.  I'm hoping it's for good.  Hoping we can finish cleaning up the house, sell and move south for good.  I truly hate living here and feel like it will be restrictive like for good.  Politicians got a taste of power and now they just abuse it.  J was in 7-11 and his mask was below his nose.  The management didn't say anything but some crazy woman started yelling at him and chasing him down.  Started taking pictures of him and his car while he was driving.  What the heck was that.  If the store didn't care, why was she getting so close and invading his space.  What right did she have to do that.  I'm sure she called the police but really, what are they going to do.  7-11 wasn't her store and J has rights.  

Here's to a happy new year 2021.....BYE BYE 2020.  YOU SUCKED!

Giuliana Quotes 2019/2020 - Things I want to remember...

 I want to remember them so here they are.

Giuliana Quotes 2019/2020

The Year of 2020

2020 started off great.  Then it all got weird.  I packed up my office at work on March 20th thinking I'd be home for a few weeks.  Then a week later my daughter was home as well.  Work became a blur, while I worked from the kitchen table and tried to manage my 3 year old that didn't understand why she was not going back to school to see her beloved teacher and friends.  My potty trained little girl suddenly started having accidents.  Stopped taking naps, took walks with me only for her to say, "Mommy, I just want to go home"  She only had us and no one to play with.  I was working all day as best I could while trying to watch her and keep her entertained.  She got a climber with a slide, a new playhouse, bike, skates.  Anything we could do to keep her busy since the parks were closed and no kids were around to play with.  When daycare started up again, Giuli was excited to go back.  Although it wasn't allowed the kids hugged in delight.  Seems crazy to tell kids one minute to be affectionate and the next, not to go near each other.  Finally the parks re-opened and Giuli was back at playing with kids she'd meet in the park.  One man brought his daughter to the park and then tells me "Social distance please"  since my 3 year old wanted to play with his daughter.  My feeling is that if you are that worried, don't go to the park where there are little children. I'm not going to restrain my daughter and keep her away from other kids.  Restrain yourself and stay home.    Now we are coming to the end of the year, and I'm still WFH.  Giuli is still in daycare, and J is still home driving me nuts.  I think he'll be home till the end of the year.  

Some pics of my grown up little one.

Ready for school

Matching nightie's

Waiting for the Dr.

Chillin till we leave for school!

I'm just soooo cool!

I just love summer!

2020....

Happy New Year!  I'm starting the year off with a threenager.  I didn't know what that was till now.  Someone is mostly potty trained now.  Will poop in the potty at daycare but not at home.  At home she begs for her diaper to poop into.  She's starting to sleep in her underwear with no accident as of yet, but still won't poop in the potty.  Anyway, tantrums are worse than ever but attempting to just ignore her and let her scream.  But boy can she carry on forever.  She is so STRONG WILLED.  Just want to get back to our normal routine.  Back with the people she loves and misses.  I'll even be glad to go back to work.

Christmas, Hanukkah and the Birthday Girl...

Hard to believe she's three years old now.  I remember thinking I'd never be a mom.  Those days are over but I still remember them.  It's made me appreciate being G's mom more than ever.  God blessed me to have her.  Made my pregnancy go by healthy and uneventful for the most part.  Grateful she was born perfect.  She's difficult.  Strong willed.  Rambunctious. High energy that we need to channel.  I may be an old mom but I'm still a new mom trying to figure it all out.  I have some facebook groups I belong to and it helps to hear I'm not alone.  Everyone always eludes that their children are perfect.  My child's crazy behavior isn't an anomaly that no one else has experienced.  I will say that having a child like G is a reason many don't have another.  Of course, that's a joke.  But hopefully as she grows and matures she'll get better at listening and understanding.  That putting on her coat when it's 5 degrees is important.  Not kicking off her sneakers in the car when she doesn't get her way.  No matter what though, I'll love her to the moon and back.  She has made our life is complete.

Surprises...

I am so amazed at how much my little one knows.  Today is my birthday and J handed G a card.  She took off with it and J ran after her.  She came into my room and said, "Happy Birthday Mommy!"  and handed me the card.  She such a joy in my life.  I love this little girl to the moon and back.

Willfull little girls...

Well, that's what I got.  The most strong willed little girl ever.  Small but mighty.  Going through the terrible two's and trying not be spoil her.  She stomps her little foot when she doesn't get her way.  Two timeouts just today.  Throwing food, feet on the table, I want this I want that.  For the most part she's my little angel but today, it was NO, NO, NO coming out of her mouth.  Let's change your diaper....NO.  Take that hairclip out of your mouth....NO.  Pick up your toys....NO (but what kid wants to clean up anyway).   Dry hair, pajamas, brush teeth...NO, NO, NO....  The funny part is that she was in back up care a few days ago, she was on her best behavior.  Sat with all the other kids and ate her snack and drank her water out of her cup.  She spilled some water and got up, grabbed a paper towel, wiped up the spill and threw it away in the garbage can.  I was so proud of her and sad too.  So grown up.  Here's a pic of my little grown up girl.  Love her so much!

Two years ago on Mother's day...

My life changed.  J's life changed.  That's the day I had a positive pregnancy test.  Just that previous Sunday we went to South Carolina for our transfer.  The next day our miracle was brought to us.  Our lives have never been the same since.  At the time we did the transfer, I could never imagine how it would feel to be pregnant let alone a Mom.  I remember how much I tried to be hopeful and prayed.  At the time, I wasn't sure how I would make the transition to trying to have a baby to actually being pregnant and then having her.  She truly is a miracle that saved me and J.  He's different.  I'm different, And we have this awesome little person growing up by leaps and bounds.  She is smart and funny and the happiest little girl ever. 

Mothers day was always so hard and got harder every year.  I think about that time and know that there are women who are forever sad on that day too.  I hated going out that day.  Everyone wants to say Happy Mother's Day.  But all I wanted to do was hide at home.  It's changed for me but I know that pain.

Happy Mother's Day to all you Mom's and the ones still fighting to become one.

Changes and growing up...

As much as I hate my little girl growing up, it's going to happen.  She's been having aggressive moments at daycare and I'm not sure why.  I love my little girl.  I don't want her to be that bully we hear about in school.  Yesterday my daycare person said she was sitting on one of the older kids.  She's only a year behind and smaller than all the other kids.  The kids were screaming that G is sitting on M to the teacher.  I was so shocked.  What causes kids to act like this.  When I picked her up she slapped my face.  I told her no, we don't do that.  Then she rubbed my face.  I wonder if it's a growing spurt and she gets angry because she's hungry.  Daycare does time outs and so do we.  She's only 2 so we'll have to see how things happen but I'm keeping an eye on this aggressive behavior.  I don't like it and feel awful for the child she sat on.  

Trip planning with a 2 year old in tow...

So we have 2 trips coming up.  One in June and one in July.  J's family is June and we'll be driving the new car for this adventure.  We did this last September and made an overnight stop going and coming back.  Made the trip a bit easier with a little one.  I also took a trip from hell to NY to visit my family.  Had lots of storms and long story short, took me 36 hours to get from Chicago to NY.  Not fun at all.  G had a blast even though I was an exhausted wreck.  Hoping these 2 trips go smoothly.  I'm excited about both of them.  Travelling with G is an adventure in itself.  She's so different every day.  I'm in planning mode for the trip.  Especially the one to NY.  I need a lightweight car seat.  Hoping to be able to attach it to the stroller and travel that way.  If not, I found a luggage carrier to turn a car seat into a stroller securely and easily....I hope.  Also need entertainment for G and snacks, milk, etc to carry along.  So much to think about and I love planning it all.

An update on G being TWO...

I wish I can blog more than I have been doing.  J is home for half the month and the other half, I'm on my own.  We've had a hard winter.  J's been sick a lot and it's been really cold and snowy.  I feel like we are on the flip side of the weather. G is now over 2 and going through the typical two's with full blown temper tantrums.  I'm trying to figure out how to handle all of them.  She wants what she wants and when she can't get it, look out here she comes.  She's fiercely independent.  "I do it mommy, I do it."  She wants so badly to do it herself that she's say "I need help, I need help, then No...I do it"  She can put on her own socks, pants, shoes.  She can eat with utensils for the most part. She loves bouncy house and always wants to play.  She loves her baby dolls too.  Puts them in the cradle, covers them with blankies and points to them saying "NAP".  She loves her routines and we love them too.  Every night, before bed, we read books.  She's so smart and learning her ABC's.  She can recognize some of the letters.  E, D, R I know she knows them.  She's starting to know her colors and can also count.  She's say's "Thank you and You're welcome"  She's growing up so fast and I just don't want to miss any of it. 

21 Months Old....

G is now 21 months old.  So much has changed.  She gave up the bottle when she was ready and is now into sippy cups.  She loves water.  We took her to a splash park and it was "wawa wawa wawa".  It was awesome.  J and I spent many weekend mornings taking her to the splash park.  It so wears her out and so fun to watch her having so much fun.  She's talking up a storm and starting to put sentences together.  She amazes me with how smart she is.  She is trying to learn her A, B, C's at her daycare.  She can watch the A, B, C song all day long.  She also says random works.  Her newest is SPIDER.  She saw one on the baseboard and now she won't stop saying it.  After dinner, she get's ready for her shower.  Yes, I said shower.  She loves her shower.  Get's so excited when I'm splashing her with the water.  We have our routine and heaven help me if I try to change anything unless she wants to.  She was watching lullabies before bed but she's now starting to want me to read to her.  I love this little girl so much.  Her little personality is coming through.  She's outgoing, friendly, fearless and so very loving.  I'm trying to find a gymnastics class for her age.  Of course it's full so next session we'll be first on line to sign up.

Ready for school

G reading a book

Easter Sunday and April Fools Day...

Well, for us, it's just another Sunday with some closed stores.  A bit inconvenient since we needed to go to the pet food store and it was one of the stores closed today.  Luckily, I still have some hard food for the cats and hopefully J will be coming home tomorrow.  G has been having good days and bad days.  She's now walking up a storm.  Exerting her independence.  She's always pulling away and wanting to walk alone.  She can stack her stacking toys.  She can put covers on her bottles and toddler fruits and veggie containers.  She loves chicken Florentine with pasta.  She loves all pastas.  She's loves her day care and all the kids there.  We're struggling to get her to drink out of a sippy cup.  But I've changed her bottle nipples so it's really flowing fast.  I keep trying different sippy's but at some point during the day (on weekends) she'll have a meltdown if she can't have her bottle.  Unfortunately, I give in.  I hate seeing her so hysterical.  Maybe she's not ready.  I'll keep on trying at meals and for bed time milk, I'll still let her have a bottle. 

Tonight is his check ride and he's stressed out.  He's actually taking it now.  I'm praying it all goes well.  J was home for 3 days in March.  G is missing her Daddy.  I'm missing him too.  Praying all goes well tonight for him and he comes home on schedule.

The beginning of 2018....

Well, it's been well over a year since my little one came into our lives.  I can't believe how different things are.  I'm so in love with my little girl.  She's will say a random word and take us all by surprise but then refuses to say the word again.  She's on the brink of walking any day now.  She loves her mum mum's, bananas and oatmeal.  And pasta.  She really loves her pasta.  Definitely and Italian little girl.  And such a Daddy's girl.  She has J wrapped around her little finger.  She's an awesome sleeper for the most part.  Bed is at 8 but lately, it's been sooner.  I put her in her crib and she lays down on her pillow and let's me tuck her in under the covers.  I say, I love you and goodnight.  See you in the morning.  She's left with her lullaby playing for 15 minutes and off to dreamland for the night. I get her up at 6 to start her day unless she decides to get up earlier.  Don't be fooled.  Getting her to go to sleep at a specific time took lots of training and effort.  Months and months of being consistent.  And it's not perfect because sometimes she can still have a bad night.  J takes her to day care when he's home otherwise it's all on me.  We had 3 weeks without J and I think it wen't well.   I just made sure to stay consistent with everything I did.  We did okay.  It was hard and we missed J.  She missed J.  It was so adorable seeing the look on her face when Daddy came to pick her up.  Pure love. 

Bittersweet as this year is coming to a close...

2016 was a crazy year for me with lots of new.  I'm still experiencing the new.  I don't know when it will become old.  Maybe never.  Last year I was enjoying my pregnancy and around this time I was getting her nursery set up.  I was nesting and it's hard to nest when you need help to complete your tasks.  A year ago I couldn't imagine where I am today.  A mom.   I'M A MOM!  I love her so much and can't imagine my life without her in it.  She's everything to me and more.  She's my hopes, my dreams.  Last year I was growing my belly and now my days are so crazy busy.  I start a 4:30 am and pump milk for my girl.  Then I take my shower and get ready.  About 5:45 AM, I eat breakfast.  6 AM I get the little one up.  Feed her and dress her.  6:30 AM I pump again.  7 AM finish getting little one ready and myself.  Pack milk, cereal, fruit.  I get whatever I can figure out, snacks, water.  Pack pump and supplies.  J takes little one to day care and I go to work.  Where I pump 3 more times during the day.  The day flies by and before I know it, it's time to go home.  Pack up my milk from the work day and drive home where I pump again at 6 PM.  Prepare little one's dinner, my dinner, and we play for a bit before I change her for bed (bath a few times a week).  Milk at 8 PM and out by 8:30 PM.  In the meantime, I again pump.  If it's after 9 PM, I'm done.  If it's 8 PM, I might pump again.  But it exhausts me.  The pumping and breastmilk is less than a month from being over.  I'll have time on my hands for sure which will be spent with my little one.  I'm trying to figure out what to do for her 1st birthday.  We'll visit family but it'll probably be next year. Right now, I'm trying to figure out a holiday card (Feeling guilty because I didn't send out all my Thank You's like I should have) so I can thank everyone for the gifts they sent us.  In the next week, I should have everything set for that.

Time is flying by...9 months old

I can't believe this year is going by so quickly.  A year ago, I was in shock that my dream of being a Mom was finally coming true.  And now, I'm in the throws of it all.  We have our difficult moments.  The moments that I can't make her happy or stop her from crying but I can comfort her and love her no matter what.  I treasure it all.  I love changing her, feeding her, putting her to bed.  I love baths and when she blows raspberries in my face.  Her determination at getting Curtis and never succeeding...yet.  Things she loves:  Her Daddy for sure. Daddy singing songs to her.  Her oatmeal with fruit and some veggies.  She also loves her stuffed animals.  Hoping she loves me too.  Things she hates:  Having her nose wiped.  Having her mouth wiped.  Sitting by herself.

Update after 6 months of a new life...

I now know why people stop blogging.  The days go by so quickly when you are caring for a new human being.  It's hard.  So very hard and J and I aren't so young that we bounce back easily.  The first month was just getting used to a new way of living and healing.  After that she got Colic and when that ended, it was time for me to return to work.  First week in day care she caught her first cold, then her second put her in the hospital for 3 days.  Now she is 6 months old and I can't believe it.  She is the light of my life.

The final week: 36 weeks, 3 days and our birth story...

This week was a very special week.  On Christmas morning, I got up at 1:30 AM to use the bathroom.  For a while now, I feel the urge to pee but not a lot comes out.  Baby takes up most of the room in there.  Anyway, this time I went and it kept on going.  I told J that something was wrong.  He said just lay down and see what happens.  I did and kept on leaking.  I knew we had to go to the hospital so I started to pack my bag but J stopped me.  He was convinced that the hospital would say we were over-reacting and send us home.  Well, turns out my water broke and baby was still breech so they called my doctor and she arrived by 3:30 AM.  I was wheeled into the OR and they did my epidural there.  I felt nothing from the neck down.  It was hard to talk or breath.  I was laid down, sheet was put up, anesthesiologist was talking me through everything.  J was brought in and they had him sit down and hold my hand next to me.  He took out his cell phone for pictures.  The next thing I know, I'm looking at my baby through the screen.  12/25/16,@3:59 AM she arrived,  She is 5lbs 15oz,, 18.25" long and perfect in every way.  We named her Giuliana Rose.  Being held up and spread all out she started to cry.  J took her picture, then he went over to cut the cord.  He took more pics.  They laid her on my neck to do some skin to skin to skin for a few minutes.  It was hard because I couldn't really hold her. After that, things are a bit blurry.  I went to a recovery room but I really can't remember it.  Only what J tells me.  I do remember being moved to the post-partum room.  The three of us stayed together in that room.  I remember thinking on the operating table that this is really happening. That today, we are becoming parents.  It all felt like an out of body experience.  Before going into the OR when they told us we were delivering in the next hour, J thought of the fact that we didn't have a middle name.  She was 3 weeks and 3 days early.  She had some blood sugar issues and body temp issues but so did I.  I just can't believe how much love I feel for her.  I can see J does too.  He loves holding her and cuddling with her.  He's even good with changing diapers.  We came home on 12/27 which apparently is record breaking time.  Everyone I speak to has said they have been in the hospital for 3-4 days.  I just wanted to go home and sleep in my own bed.  J is here and looks after me when necessary.  She's now 7 days old and we're trying to get into a routine as hard as it is but I'm so loving every moment of it and loving every minute of our little angel.