Drained...

It's been a long week.  We made it through.  It was hard.  J is back home and Giuli is happier than ever.  I'm still trying to work on getting Giuli to listen to me.  Sometimes she just ignores me and does what she wants.  Yesterday, the daycare tried to help me by saying to her she needs to apologize for what she did. Sadly, she doesn't always seem to understand her actions.  And of course, lots of loud noises and crying on the way home as a result.  I wish I had the knowledge to fix what's going on inside of her.  We're still trying to find ABA care for her.  Just sitting on the waitlist and waiting for another to provide us with the assessment they did.  Everything takes so long to get done.  I'm glad her school started doing extra with her.  She goes to something called Lunch Bunch.  I think she likes it too.  Yesterday, she got 2 tokens so I told her if she can do that every day, I'll give her a matching dollar.  She wants to go to Target and she needs money for that.  Hoping a goal like that will give her incentive to do well in school. 

So far so good...

This has been G's first week at the new daycare.  So far we like what we see in the place.  The person who runs it, has a child with ADHD and understands all too well.  She's a published author on a childrens book about ADHD.  It's on my list to order.  It's called "My Running Mind" and I'm purchasing it on Amazon.  If anyone is interested in it, I've linked it to the amazon page.  They seem chaotic but yet have total control over the children.  G has been having issues and we've been seeing her in the zone lately.  But they handled it so well.  So much better than just "your daughter is really aggressive"  I keep thinking of that comment and it gets me super angry.  These people are in the business of taking care of children and G is a child.  Have they never managed a child that has ADHD?  I guess they like to be selective with the children they get.  Only those that sit still.  We won't talk about the little boy that asked G if she wanted to see his weenie?  That was G's fault too.  I keep wondering where the adults were while this and other things were going on.  Well, keep praying for my little one and that she's now at the daycare she fits in well with.

The new daycare...

So G started her new daycare.  So far so good.  J thinks its too chaotic and she'll get bad habits there.  Maybe, maybe not.  But she got herself booted from the last one and that's the reality. J is always losing it these days.  She doesn't do what she's supposed to do and he yells that he's going to die soon.  I don't think that's good for her to hear and I'm not sure why he doesn't get it.  He keeps saying it to me as well and it gives me a lot of stress.  He doesn't feel well so everyone has to suffer.  Honestly, I think he'll accomplish dying if he doesn't stop saying it. He is always he should have done this or should have done that.  I'm surprised I'm still alive with the amount of stress he's put me through.  Anyway, G had an episode this morning and all this came up.  She can't control herself and you can say it to her over and over and she doesn't get it.

My heart hurts for her…

 I love my little girl so much.  Lately she has been making bad choices.  At daycare a little boy wanted her to kiss his weenie.  They made a game of it and she isn’t 100 percent understanding what she did wrong. He’s her friend and she thinks it’s ok to go that.  Now the lady at daycare is picking G apart for anything that happens.  The teachers write reports and this lady blows them out of proportion.  I’m scared for her.  I feel like she’s disgusted with G and wants her gone from the daycare.  J is feeling that too.  I worry how she’ll feel if they kick her out and we need to find another daycare.  G is smart but she’s immature for her age.  We’re working to improve that but singling her out like this isn’t right.  J is coming home tomorrow and will go speak to this lady directly.  Right now I’m too emotional about it.  I need to know what path to take.  I’m praying G-d can show me the way

Little Girl Problems...

Things have been tough in August and now September.  G is not adjusting well to doing the right thing when she's on the van to the daycare or even at daycares.  We are now on daycare #3 and I'm praying it will go smoothly or we are screwed.  We have her in counseling now too.  We go as a family and she seems to like the therapist.  He knows how to talk to her and she has a positive reaction.  He doesn't think she has ADHD but that she's just having an issue adjusting to new environments.  He pointed that out too.  In his office, she sat down and drew a picture for him.  She was totally focused on what she was doing. She wasn't out of control or doing anything wrong.  I just love her to death and hate that she's so angry inside that she doesn't know how to manage it.  To add to the difficulty these days, both J and I have been ill as well so managing a disobedient child is so hard to do.  We also started noticing some issues with Giuli and breathing at night.  She's snoring and at one point she stopped breathing.  She then kicks violently and starts all over again.  We got her to the Dr and sent her for an x-ray.  She has large adenoids and tonsils so we need to get to an ENT.  Currently, I put her back on Flonase and that seems to help with her sleeping right now.  If she has interrupted sleep that could contribute to some of her bad behavior.  Not all of it.  We need to work on behavior modification at home as well.  I guess we failed on that and wish we had started it sooner.  Now we have an angry 5-year old that gets out of control when she's tired or overstimulated.  The Dr had her teacher and us fill out the Vanderbilt assessment but right now, I'm against mind-altering meds to fix her behavior.  We need to work on that at home and hopefully, she'll get it.  I need to get myself together.  I have an hour before we pick her up and I need to not be so emotional.  I'm just feeling so sad right now.  Feeling ill doesn't help either.  

Sick kiddos...

 One of the things I hate the most is when my little one get's sick.  It always seems to come on so quickly and takes the spark out of her.  And of course I'm always thinking the worst.  She was fine on Saturday and early Sunday (she played in the snow) then went downhill quickly.  Fevers of 101-103 Sunday to Monday.  Then she recovered on Monday afternoon.  House looked like a tornado went through it and this Mama was overwhelmed.  And of course she couldn't go back to daycare till she was 24 hours without fever.  But she is better.  A bit cranky but better and now in school so Mama can get back to work.

The Year of 2020

2020 started off great.  Then it all got weird.  I packed up my office at work on March 20th thinking I'd be home for a few weeks.  Then a week later my daughter was home as well.  Work became a blur, while I worked from the kitchen table and tried to manage my 3 year old that didn't understand why she was not going back to school to see her beloved teacher and friends.  My potty trained little girl suddenly started having accidents.  Stopped taking naps, took walks with me only for her to say, "Mommy, I just want to go home"  She only had us and no one to play with.  I was working all day as best I could while trying to watch her and keep her entertained.  She got a climber with a slide, a new playhouse, bike, skates.  Anything we could do to keep her busy since the parks were closed and no kids were around to play with.  When daycare started up again, Giuli was excited to go back.  Although it wasn't allowed the kids hugged in delight.  Seems crazy to tell kids one minute to be affectionate and the next, not to go near each other.  Finally the parks re-opened and Giuli was back at playing with kids she'd meet in the park.  One man brought his daughter to the park and then tells me "Social distance please"  since my 3 year old wanted to play with his daughter.  My feeling is that if you are that worried, don't go to the park where there are little children. I'm not going to restrain my daughter and keep her away from other kids.  Restrain yourself and stay home.    Now we are coming to the end of the year, and I'm still WFH.  Giuli is still in daycare, and J is still home driving me nuts.  I think he'll be home till the end of the year.  

Some pics of my grown up little one.

Ready for school

Matching nightie's

Waiting for the Dr.

Chillin till we leave for school!

I'm just soooo cool!

I just love summer!

2020....

Happy New Year!  I'm starting the year off with a threenager.  I didn't know what that was till now.  Someone is mostly potty trained now.  Will poop in the potty at daycare but not at home.  At home she begs for her diaper to poop into.  She's starting to sleep in her underwear with no accident as of yet, but still won't poop in the potty.  Anyway, tantrums are worse than ever but attempting to just ignore her and let her scream.  But boy can she carry on forever.  She is so STRONG WILLED.  Just want to get back to our normal routine.  Back with the people she loves and misses.  I'll even be glad to go back to work.

Changes and growing up...

As much as I hate my little girl growing up, it's going to happen.  She's been having aggressive moments at daycare and I'm not sure why.  I love my little girl.  I don't want her to be that bully we hear about in school.  Yesterday my daycare person said she was sitting on one of the older kids.  She's only a year behind and smaller than all the other kids.  The kids were screaming that G is sitting on M to the teacher.  I was so shocked.  What causes kids to act like this.  When I picked her up she slapped my face.  I told her no, we don't do that.  Then she rubbed my face.  I wonder if it's a growing spurt and she gets angry because she's hungry.  Daycare does time outs and so do we.  She's only 2 so we'll have to see how things happen but I'm keeping an eye on this aggressive behavior.  I don't like it and feel awful for the child she sat on.