Ups and downs...

It's been challenging lately.  G seems like she has had the upper hand for so long that she doesn't realize that the adults are in charge.  She has some refresher schoolwork to do before school starts on 8/5 and she's been very difficult about working on it.  I got to the point that I took her tablet away and she had a full blown tantrum in the car and at home.  Tore up the car, the living room, kitchen and bathroom.  But in the end she did the homework.  One freaking page and 2 hours of digging her heels in and refusing to do it.  The following week, on Monday she did great.  I said she can have her tablet in the car as long as she gives it to me when we get home.  She wanted to make slime and she did a few questions, then made some slime, then did some more questions while I made dinner.  So peaceful.  Tuesday was another story.  She refused to give me her tablet so I said she won't get money for her field trip on Wednesday.  When I had dinner ready, I took her tablet and locked it up.  Then the tantrum started.  Tore up the living room again and messed up the bathroom.  Eventually she ate dinner and did 2 questions.  Then said Dad said she can have money if she did 2 questions but that was much earlier before dinner and before she tore up the living room and bathroom.  So last night, she kept saying "money" over and over again.  I ignored and got her ready for bed and she continued when she got up this morning.  Cried all the way to daycare/camp.  I warned the director of the situation so she was prepared.  But man. She is one strong willed girl.  Strong willed and neurodivergent.  Quite a combo to deal with.  

I have learned from this.  She has choices she's making and she can control herself.  I know that her behavior is several years younger than she actually is which makes it hard for her to connect with girls her age.  It breaks my heart.  But at the same time, I can't have her grow up to be a spoiled, self entitled young woman.  As hard as it is I know I'm doing this to help her in the future.  I'm scared that she'll say something that will eventually get her in trouble and taken away in handcuffs.  Right now, her words aren't taken seriously but as she gets older, they will.  And at that point it'll be too late for mom and dad help her.  

Can't stay focused...

I'm not sure why.  Maybe because I feel stress about my job.  Maybe too many other distractions.  The fire in me has dwindled when it comes to trying to start an online affiliate business.  I want to do it but maybe now is not the right time.  My job has been demanding lately.  My daughter has activites during the week.  I'm constantly trying to clean and organize the house.  We want to buy this house.  We need an appraisal.  The owning company has made an offer but we are going to see what the appraisal comes in at. Plus, we may get a loan to take care of all our debt with one payment.  So many things going on at once.  I'm just so tired.  I'm also trying to lose the last 10 lbs which seems so difficult but that I'm not giving up.  

Struggling....

I'm scared about my job.  I know I need to do something but I feel so stuck.  I want to try affiliate marketing to earn something extra but I feel like all I do is fail.  Nothing seems to work these days.  What's wrong with me?  Why can't I focus?  I need to do this but I feel like there is a wall I keep hitting.  I need to do so much and just can't get my act together these days.  

Affiliate Marketing....again

So, I'm back to trying affiliate marketing again.  Keeping the cost down and growing my page on instagram privately.  I'll do my best.  Post daily and try and gain traction.  I chose a book sale to help women trying to get pregnant.  I know in my case, I needed a doctors intervention but lifestyle changes can make a big difference as well.  I'm excited to try again.  I like making reels and these are more personal to me because of my struggles.

3rd Grade is over...

This year has gone by faster than I have ever thought it could.  G has grown 3 inches in less than a year and it's so noticable if you look at her start of school year to the end of school year.  Crazy isn't it.  One minute I'm begging and pleading for a baby and now I have a 9 year old little girl that I love tremendously.  She has daycare (camp in the summer) and they have lots of fieldtrips starting tomorrow.  I'm so excited for her and I know she'll have the best time.  That's my girls story.

My story is not as great.  I'm worried about my job and what's happening daily with it.  I'm hoping I still fit into the company but we are going into uncharted waters and my fear is rising.  I've been at this company for 20 years and for the first time, I feel unsure of my future in it.  AI has taken over and they are looking for efficiencies.  I need to get with the program or I'll be out of a job and starting over. And right now, that seems very scary to me. It's forcing me to look deep and see what I can do without starting over.  I decided to try affiliate marketing again.  It's worth a shot.

I started a new Instagram account but keeping my identity private.  Now to see how it goes but here is my link to my blog page, The Invisible Catlady

Update to our lives....

I haven't posted in quite a bit so this is a catch up.  We've had a lot of changes.  We fired the last ABA company.  The care was inconsistant.  Constant changes caused additional behavior problems and the last one decided when my daughter was having a super hyper day and doing dangerous things, she decided to report me to CPS.  Nothing was founded and case was closed.  These people are supposed to be helping me and instead they did the opposite.  I didn't trust them at all after that.  We have a new ABA company and it took months to get onboard.  We started when school started and got one right after Thanksgiving and she lasted 1 month.  The next was a him/her and that person lasted 2 months.  We have someone new who is also a Kindergarten teacher and doesn't live too far away.  Hoping she'll be around much longer than the last few.  G seems to be getting along better than the others she's had.  She's almost done with 3rd Grade.  She was doing 70's-80's in the first semester then her teacher went on maternity leave and things slipped drastically.  But now she's in the 70's so I'm pleased with that.  She doesn't like school so getting her to do work is very hard.  Getting her to read is also very hard.  She's currently in the highest class for swimming which is Swim Force but I promised she can quit when school ends.  Swim Force is more competitive and they work to build stamina.  She absolutely hates it because it makes her so tired. 

Other than that, we have end of year activities going on this week and next.  Art fair tonight, Spring party next Friday and then school ends.  G already said 13 days left but that includes weekends.  Funny how she's counting down. LOL.  

3rd Grade pic of my princess