Update to our lives....

 I haven't posted in quite a bit so this is a catch up.  We've had a lot of changes.  We fired the last ABA company.  The care was inconsistant.  Constant changes caused additional behavior problems and the last one decided when my daughter was having a super hyper day and doing dangerous things, she decided to report me to CPS.  Nothing was founded and case was closed.  These people are supposed to be helping me and instead they did the opposite.  I didn't trust them at all after that.  We have a new ABA company and it took months to get onboard.  We started when school started and got one right after Thanksgiving and she lasted 1 month.  The next was a him/her and that person lasted 2 months.  We have someone new who is also a Kindergarten teacher and doesn't live too far away.  Hoping she'll be around much longer than the last few.  G seems to be getting along better than the others she's had.  She's almost done with 3rd Grade.  She was doing 70's-80's in the first semester then her teacher went on maternity leave and things slipped drastically.  But now she's in the 70's so I'm pleased with that.  She doesn't like school so getting her to do work is very hard.  Getting her to read is also very hard.  She's currently in the highest class for swimming which is Swim Force but I promised she can quit when school ends.  Swim Force is more competitive and they work to build stamina.  She absolutely hates it because it makes her so tired. 

Other than that, we have end of year activities going on this week and next.  Art fair tonight, Spring party next Friday and then school ends.  G already said 13 days left but that includes weekends.  Funny how she's counting down. LOL.  

3rd Grade pic of my princess

Already July....

This year is going by quickly.  G hasn't been doing as well as I'd like her to do in school.  I'm hoping to get some new things set up so she can practice reading and writing a bit more.  Hoping her teacher is also much better than what she had last year.  We also switched daycares.  It became apparent that no matter the circumstances, my daughter would be written up.  They would automatically take another child at it's word without talking to my daughter.  So we are now in another daycare and they let RBT's into the facility.  However, we just had an incident and my daughter along with another girl, bullied a child with special needs.  They were both involved but only my daughter was moved to another room.  Again, she's being singled out as the troublemaker.  It makes my heart sad.  But the BCBA is having a meeting with the staff and was going to ask some questions about that.  In addition, I've been explaining over and over how some conversations are inappropriate and that's what got her in trouble.  She basically asked the little girl if she knows what gay means and the other girl asked her if she knows what special needs means.  I've reached out to her therapist for some assistance.  Social stories that can help her understand what she did was wrong.  It's hard to punish someone that doesn't understand what she did.  I think that's what's most frustrating of all.  Her lack of understanding.

Lifestyle changes....

 So with the husband back to work, we changed our insurance.  I started on a new journey as a result.  His company offers a weight loss program designed to help you change the way you live your life.  It's a long term program over a full year.  For the 1st 6 months, we have weekly coaching.  Then it's once a month.  So far so good with the effort I'm putting in.  I'm tracking food, walking on my treadmill daily so far and I'm seeing results.  I've had a lot of physical issues recently and I'm hoping this will help.  My hands have been swollen and now I have trigger finger in my index finger on my left hand.  It won't go away without treatment so waiting on my appointment.  But I can tell the swelling has gone down.  I can close my hands easily, except for that index finger.  Also, I've had pain on my right foot.  It's not as bad anymore so again, wondering if it's my weight.  My weight has been it's highest ever.  We all had the flu so I got a jumpstart on losing but now it's all in my hands to keep it going.  My blood tests show that I have very high triglycerides and cholesterol.  Another reason to start managing what I eat.  No more heavy cream dinners.  More healthy lunches and reducing the amount of butter I use.  Everything needs to be in moderation but I lost that.  Now I'm getting back to the basics.  My end goal is to lose 23 pounds.  I can do it.  I just need to be committed.  

Broken trust....

 Yesterday we had a visitor.  Someone reported us to DCSF.  The report said J berates me, that J lost his temper and G was in the trunk.  It said she wasn't sure if J shoved her in there and drove that way or she went in herself.  I can say without a doubt that my daughter unbuckled her seatbelt in the driveway and jumped over the seat to the back.  We have an SUV.  He'd never drive with her like that.  This was from an RBT that comes into our home to help us with G.  To help her figure out how to manage her big feelings in a productive way.  To help her learn how to talk to people and learn how to be a friend.  How can I trust them again.  I'm not sure who filed the report but I have a guess.  When J came home from a trip, G wanted to go with him to pick up Taco Bell.  She wasn't behaving the best so the RBT said she shouldn't go and we all agreed.  G became violent with her and has been mad at her ever since.  That's G.  She holds a grudge.  She will hit, kick and do whatever it takes to make the person go away.  I remember her mentioning G's aggression and the report says she believes it's learned from someone in the house.  Interesting though.  I had to pick her up from daycare so the investigator could talk to her.  When we got home, G was having none of it  She jumped over the seat and hid in the trunk (SUV).  So she saw first hand.  She talked to me for a while and asked if she could talk to the pediatrician and a character reference.  I gave her permission and a phone number to my SIL.  I also gave her Jim's number.  She said it takes 30 days for the case to close but it should be done.  She said she'll let me know.  I called the director and she was unaware of all of this.  She also said the RBT should have come to her before doing this.  If she finds out who it was, she won't be coming back into our home.  Again, how can I trust them again.  

Finally....

After 3 long years, selling out house and moving south, two additional moves (and still will have another in the future, but not yet), having our daughter go through Kindergarten, First Grade and now Second Grade, J is officially well enough to go back to work.  COVID nearly killed him.  It's taken a heart ablation, surgery to repair the phrenic nerve that controls his diaphragm and PT to get his pulmonary function test normal.  He had a PFT of 47 and now is perfectly normal which amazed the Mayo Clinic.  Another month, we'd be moving to another house and declaring bankruptcy.  I thank God every day for his life.  

So the school year begins and some things end...

It's been a hard end of summer.  A few weeks ago our cat, Amelia, passed away.  She was over 20 years old and I know she lived a great life with lots of love.  The hardest part of this is my little girl.  She was devastated.  J was away and it happened so quickly.  She stopped eating Tuesday night and Wednesday in the middle of the night she became so weak she couldn't make it to her litter box.  I told G in the morning to say goodbye because she probably wouldn't be with us.  She just walked downstairs and didn't say anything and went into her tent.  A minute later she came out hysterical.  She wanted to go with me to the vet to say goodbye.  I knew it wouldn't be a good idea with me on my own.  I reached out to the ABA therapist and she said she'd come by and we could all go together.  I had an appointment at 3pm.  I wasn't sure Amelia would make it till 3 but I didn't have a choice.  She slept by her water dish, then I moved her to her bed.  She stayed there sleeping till I had to pick her up.  She was so close to dying in my arms.  I kept my cool and got her in her carrier.  She didn't pick up her head or struggle.  She made gurgling noises but remained alive.  I didn't say anything in the car.  I just drove to the vet.  The Dr said her heartbeat was really slow and asked me if I wanted them to give her a shot to help her go to sleep.  G was inconsolable and I was having a hard time controlling my emotions as well.  The Vets office let us stay there as long as we needed.  I needed G to calm down and I needed to stop crying as well.  This was the hardest thing I ever had to do.  

After this event, we moved on to J coming home and attending G's orientation with her teacher.  After that, G didn't sleep Wed or Thurs night with the anticipation of the first day of school coming.  After getting 2 write ups at daycare in one day, I was ready for school to begin and a new routine to start.  

It's been a full week and so far she's doing well.  Her teacher said she's a great student.  She had her first gymnastics class on Saturday and she did amazing.   We also went to the pool and we invited her friend and mom to come along.  It was all going well till the floated popped.  Then she cried her eyes out.  Then I said it was time to go and she through a tantrum. A really big tantrum.  Screaming, crying, carrying on the entire time to the car and home.  I'm trying to give her some grace with school starting and everything.  I know she doesn't do well with change.  Also, she had a change in meds so I can see that being an issue.  Sunday went better when we went to the pool.  I warned her if she had another episode we won't be going next weekend.  

Anyway, her new issue is her disrespect to me.  She calls me stupid and dumb.  Says she hates me, etc.. This has been happening all weekend.  It's not very nice and I'll be bringing it up with the ABA therapists on our call today.  I'm tired of being the bad guy.  Always on her back to do something.  Sometimes I'd like J to be that guy sometimes.