Unsure about what happened yesterday...

Yesterday we went to the pool party.  It was nice but really crowded and G met some of her school friends at the pool and really enjoyed herself.  It went downhill from there.  Crying and not listening well at all.  Somewhat improved after eating.  Got her into a bath and I did some cleaning up while she played in the tub.  Dried her hair and we read a book together (she's doing so well with that) and watched a show on youtube for a few minutes before putting her to bed.  However, she didn't go to bed.  She couldn't sleep and kept getting up and coming in my room.  Can I go potty, can we have perogies, I hear a woodpecker at my window, I hear booming (fireworks).  This went on all night till she came in and asked if she can sleep in my room.  When she settled down, she didn't settle down.  Legs up and down.  I finally put the TV on because it was apparent no sleeping was happening.  I can't have another night like this.  It made me angry and I was angry with her. And of course, she cried when she got up because she was so freaking tired.  I need to figure out what to do.  I took away her tablet but her motor wouldn't stop.  I purchased some supplements and hoping this will help her get settled down.  Please pray for us.

Anxiety...

 Lately, I've been feeling anxious and nervous.  Our finances are not good and I'm trying to find a way out of this hole we're in.  Is there a get rich quick scheme anywhere out there?  Maybe a reputable side business that I can do online?  I've been researching.  I know J is too.  I did find something but I'm so nervous about it.  Will it pay off.  The people who have tried say yes.  But with hard work and following the training they give us.  So scared I'm making a mistake but also praying it can and will pay off.  I'm not expecting money to just roll in but I have to try, right?  What's a little more money down the drain, right?  Maybe the training will help me with other future endeavors, right?  I see the pros and I see the cons.  Scary, right?  2020 has been a hard year and I need to put it past me.  Maybe this will help my family.  All I want to do is get our debts paid down so we can move out of this frozen tundra with a little dignity.

Jitters and nerves...

I've been having so much anxiety lately.  Everything and anything causes me to go over the edge.  I'm snapping at J often.  By evening I'm exhausted from the anxiety.  My heart races.  Not all the time.  Just sometimes.  It comes out of nowhere.  I had my Endo appointment last Monday.  She tweaked my pump settings.  I'm hoping it helps get things under control with my blood sugar.  I have a blood test scheduled for Monday for my hormone levels and my A1C.  I'm really worried about my A1C.  I think it may have gone up since the last time.  I haven't been eating right and I need to fix that.  No more crap.  Maybe that's why I'm having anxiety.  And of course having my hormone levels checked.  Tuesday is my lining check.  I'm praying that it's all goes well.