19 weeks...

Well week 19 was not too bad.  I'm starting back up with walking and my company has a challenge in the works from 8/29-9.25 and that always helps keep me honest.  My cold is nearly all gone and I feel so much better.  Presently we are trying to find a new home for our problem cat.  We just can't get trust her.  She is very unpredictable and has hurt me.  Sometimes she's playing other times she's getting even because I won't let her do something she wants.  So far none of the shelters will take her and I've reached out to an old co-worker that has a farm in her family.  I'm thinking that's her only option other than putting her down. One of the shelters actually said I should do just that.  I'd rather her be able to run and play then have her life snuffed out intentionally.

Anyway, I have my OB app today and MFM tomorrow for the anatomy scan.  I'm looking forward to finding out what this little one will be.

Symptoms I felt this week:

• Breasts hurt on and off
• Tired
• Stomach is getting bigger and rounder
• Sciatica pain
• I feel pains in my abdomen in different areas.  Guess things are stretching out to fit baby

Progress...

Things are finally moving at full speed now.  I've been on Lupron since 4/13.  Donor is on day 11 of stims and I'll be getting an update tomorrow from my nurse.  Retrieval is either Thursday or Friday. So far they are counting 21 follicles about 12-16 mm.  I'm nervous, excited and scared.  I can't believe this is finally happening.  I keep praying that this is my time.  My stress level is through the roof.  J hasn't helped with that at all.  My blood sugar is getting lower though.  I've lost a few pounds due to stress.  I've woken up in the middle of the night dripping in sweat with a blood sugar of 60.  Luckily for me that I keep boxed juice by my bed. I'm so hoping for a five day transfer.  I've asked my nurse about that.  Hopefully when she gives me an update she can tell me if a five day is possible.  She may not know till after I'm there and I'll just have to wait.  I guess I could consider it a vacation and just sit by the pool and exercise to relieve as much stress as possible.  J won't be with me.  I"m doing this one alone.  Again, another stress factor.  I'm not good with travelling to places I don't know and getting around on my own.  I've been there before but not enough to be comfortable with my surroundings.  But I'll do what I have to do.  I've asked my cousin if she could meet me there.  She gets sick a lot and I'm worried about that too.  I told her not to worry if she can't come.  I just wanted company but not at the expense of her health so hopefully she's listening.  As of now, I'm planning on being their alone but if she can make it, all the better.  We'll see.  Right now, I"m focused on hearing some good news from my nurse tomorrow.

Trying to go with the flow...

I've been trying but my stress level is so high right now.  The nurse at the facility was supposed to email me my monitoring order last Monday or so.  On Wednesday I sent her an email asking her where it was.  No response.  I sent another on Thursday and she finally sent it to my be 4 PM.  I couldn't make the appointment without the order so I was bit annoyed.  She's not as responsive as the other nurse coordinator I worked with.  My appointment is on Tuesday @ 6:30 AM.  I want to get it over with and not worry before I have to go to work which has been crazy and will stay that way for some time.  I've been on Lupron since Monday.  It makes me feel rather loopy. Friday was my last BCP so after Tuesday, things will really get moving.  I've also been trying to do my best at keeping my blood sugar under better control.  I decided that free Friday lunch is now off limits and I'm trying to keep the carbs as low as possible.  I don't like seeing my blood sugar go over 200 and I've had that a number of times.  Getting it back down is a challenge.  I try exercising to get it down and sometimes it works.  Sometimes it goes down then goes back up after an hour.  Very weird.  I've been eating eggs, salads, tuna, chicken and fruit within reason.  For dinners, I've had mostly pasta with vegetables.  I serving of pasta only and loaded with vegetables.  Bread seems to spike me so I'm avoiding it as much as possible.  Usually dinner is when I take the most insulin.  I've had a few night sweats and last night at 3 AM I woke up and was at 81.  I keep a granola bar by my bedside.  I was starving and it hit the spot.  Oddly enough I've noticed that I stay at the same number for a while then when I drop, it goes down quickly.  I don't know if that's normal or not. Something to ask my Endo when I see her in June.

My next task is writing a thank you card to my donor.  I'm not sure what kind of gift to give.  I'm thinking of a gift card to a spa so she can pamper herself after going through all those fertility drugs and retrieval.  It's all anonymous so I'll be sending it to my nurse to give to her during the retrieval. 

Treadmill on the way...

J and I decided sometime in Nov that it would be beneficial to get a treadmill.  I've struggled with going to the gym just for the treadmill and the weather here just sucks.  I never want to brave the elements to do a 30 minute run.  Well, starting on Tuesday, I won't have to worry about that anymore.  We went ahead and purchased a treadmill and it will be delivered and put together at our home on Tuesday.  It was expensive but I've cancelled my gym membership and J and I can both use it.  That makes me very excited that he'll be using it too.  Mostly me though.  I'm hoping this will help with all the blood sugar issues I've been having. Maybe with consistent exercise my A1C will improve before my Doctor appointment in March.  

On the IVF front, I still haven't applied for a medical loan yet.  I'm still waiting for a loan to show paid on my credit report.  I thought it would have shown up paid by now but it looks like next week sometime it will show up.  I'm on pins and needles right now.  I'm always going through financing figures over and over again.  I'm always trying to see how much I can save on my own.  I know we'll need to have some money saved.  I guess the problem is that I want to apply for the loan now but know that it's not in our best interest to do that quite yet.  But the urge is still there all the time.  I want to get this show on the road and I want it to be this year.  I'm so anxious lately.  I pray to G-d every day that he will show me the way.   

This week is flying by...

No pun intended.  I'm trying to really hard to keep my promise to myself and clean this house up.  Today, I worked on the bathroom.  I changed the storm door and I've managed to clean the drip pans on the stove and now they are sparkling again.  I was going to try to move the bow-flex downstairs myself but it's way too heavy for me to move.  I also cancelled my gym membership.  The plan is to trade the bow-flex (which I don't use) with a treadmill (which I will use). I probably won't get much for the bow-flex but if I can get someone to remove it from my house and put together a treadmill that J and I will both use, it will be worth the hassle.  Plus, it will make more room upstairs for us.  I just hate travelling to the gym in this nasty very cold weather here in Chicago and I haven't been going.  So instead of spending money on the gym I don't use anyway, I've opted to get the treadmill.  In fact, I only use the treadmill and elliptical at the gym anyway.   Also, I've been doing a lot of reading and 30 minutes everyday on the treadmill can help bring down my blood sugars.  I recently read that type 2 is not just for the obese and lazy.  A lot of women are now getting the disease and they are thin.  I'm not exactly thin but I'm not obese either.  I've lost about eight lbs since September but my blood sugar is still high.  Not as high as it was a few months ago but high nonetheless.  I just need to keep on tracking my food and start exercising again. My goal is try to lose another 15 lbs.  I'm not sure I can do it.  It will bring me to the weight I was when I met J eighteen years ago.  It's a goal.  

Fall cleaning, fall eating...

So, I've been working on eating better and today I started back at the gym.  My doctor said I need to count carbs in order to get my blood sugar down.  I'm still only pre-diabetic.  My A1C is 6.1 even though I've had some really high numbers.  My doctor thinks that during the day it must be dropping.  She said no medications unless it goes over 6.5 so my goal is to keep it down with diet and exercise.  However, counting carbs gets old and tiring.  But I managed to drop 3 lbs so far.  I think losing 10 lbs will really make a difference.  One of my co-workers is also on a diet so we're trying to support each other.  She's doing really well and that's inspiring me to do better.  This week is my week on vacation at home, so not only am I going to the gym daily, but I'm working on cleaning out the bedrooms.  I have till Sunday to get 2 full rooms cleaned out and habitable.  It's a challenge but I'm up for it.  

I had my Dr's appointment yesterday.  My blood tests are now normal for my thyroid levels which is good.  She said I have thyroid antibodies which she called Hashimotos and I should continue to take the low dose of thyroid medicine.  I'm due to have it checked in 2 months.  I brought up my high blood sugars in the morning and they did an A1C and it turns out it's gone up since my last check in March.  It was 5.4 and now it's 5.9.  She wants me to have that checked in 2 months as well.  No meds yet just checking to see where it goes.  I'm working out 3-4 times/week for months now (J has noticed my butt looks more shapely) and trying to watch my carbs.  She said if it goes over 200 to contact her sooner than our next appointment but lets hope it doesn't.  I'm just so tired of trying and I feel like I should be able to stop it from happening. 

Thyroid issues...

Well I had my follow-up appointment with my endo today.  She believes it's an inflamed thyroid and there are no medications that fix that.  It has to run it's course.   She said it should fix itself and is hoping it won't take longer than 6 months but she wants me to go once a month for a follow-up blood test to check my thyroid levels.  She doesn't want me to get pregnant while it's like this since it can cause harm to a fetus.  

Anyway, I've made plans to visit my friend in Florida and decided that I need to go to the gym as much as possible.  I initially said I would go every day till my trip but my muscles are sore today (I did a body sculpting DVD) so I'm taking today off and will go back tomorrow. 

Our new kitty seems to be doing well.  He coos and purrs.  He likes J a lot more than me.  I think it's because I'm the one always picking him up and moving him.  He's had some contact with the other kitties and hissing went on so it will be a bit longer before they can co-exist. 

Holidays and resolutions....

I guess this year I thought we'd have something to celebrate.  Sadly that's not the case.  I usually make a holiday card but I wasn't really in the mood.  J begged me to make one though.  He said his family looks forward to getting them every year so I made one this weekend.  Here is a picture of it.

It was a simple card and easy to do and I didn't need to buy any supplies to make them.  Not my best but not the worst either.  Every year, I say I'm going to make 5 unique cards a month and this way, by the time the holidays arrive, I'll have more than enough cards to send out with any stress.  The problem is that I've been preoccupied with other things and I think it's time to enjoy myself as much as possible next year.  I've been going to the gym and working on getting myself healthy again.  I've commited to going to the gym 4 days a week and so far, it's been going well.  My goal is to lose another 15 to 20 lbs by summer time.  I know I can do it even though I live with an enabler.  Another goal is to visit my friend in Florida early next year.  I don't have to much money to spend but I think I can swing a long weekend to visit an old friend.  Might even do me some good as well as her.  I need things to look forward to and this is one of those things.  We also plan to go visit J's family in January on his vacation.  I kind of insisted on it especially since it's been a while since we've seen everyone and I know we will have a wonderful time.  Actually, I'm pretty excited about the visit.  It's giving me something to smile about.

Getting back into my routine...

Well, now that I'm feeling better from the shingles, I thought it would be a good idea to get back in the swing of things.  I've noticed a that my blood sugar has gone up again and it's scary.  I didn't work out for just one week and it made such a difference.  So, on Friday, Saturday and Sunday I made sure I went to the gym and did the elliptical trainer for 30 minutes each day.  I tried to use the cardio function on the machine but I couldn't handle it.  Maybe the shingles knocked me out more than I thought.  Anyway, it felt awesome.  I didn't realize how much I missed it.  I recently heard on the news that it takes 21 days for something to become a habit and 6 months for it to be a part of your life.  Well, I'm on my way to making this exercise thing a part of my life.  Just hoping my blood sugar follows suit and decreases.  My goals are to go to the gym either Mon or Tues, Thurs, Friday, Sat, Sun for the rest of this week.  It's only for 30 minutes of cardio.  I'd like to add strength training to this routine but I feel lost at the gym with those machines.  I might need get a personal trainer for a few sessions to help me get started and learn how to use the machines.  Anyway, its a little over two weeks away from our trip to NC.  I am getting super excited.  I know it will take months to get a donor, another couple, sync our cycles, etc, etc... Just trying to take it one day at a time.