We all have strep...

 So J was sick last week.  But in man fashion, he didn't go to the doctor.  Yesterday, I started feeling very ill.  Fever, sore throat, chills.  G threw up in her bed, then later in ours, then after drinking some water, after the doctor did the strep test.  So much fun.  After her Dr app, we went to my Dr app and J checked into the urgent care next my doctor office.  Now we are all on antibiotics for the next 10 days.   And I've spent the better part of the day, washing/sterilizing all our bedding.  

Hopefully we start to feel better tomorrow. :(

Trying to get answers...

Moving has been hard.  Hard on all of us but especially G.  She has not been accepting of this move.  In the last week, I've seen some changes.  A little better than before.  I've been trying to spend more time with her.  I need to be consistent with that.  That's my new goal for her.  Every day, we get at least 10 minutes of Giuli time.  Play whatever game she wants to play.  I want to build happy memories of us spending time together.  But I have to admit, something is not always right with her.  When she goes downhill, she hits the ground hard.  I know she doesn't realize what she's doing so trying to stop her is hard and exhausting.  Tomorrow we have the ENT appointment.  One of the pieces of the puzzle coming together.  On Thursday, we talk to her Dr about the Vanderbilt Assessment we turned in.  Praying one of these doctors can help get Giuli the help she needs.  She's not a bad child.  But this move didn't bring out the best in her.  Change is not something she likes but it's the way life goes.  It doesn't help that we still live out of boxes.  J refuses to accept living here but I try to make things normal for her.  It's not about him, it's about taking care of G and making sure she's ok.  But she'll be ok.  I'm positive about that.  We love her and will do anything to make sure she's ok.

30 weeks...

This week has been better than last.  I had the last of my scolding doctor appointments last week and hopefully it will be better for the last 7 weeks of my pregnancy.  I made progress on the office and got the carpet steamcleaned and guest bed moved.  Now I'm working on the baby's room.  Hopefully this weekend J can move the rest of the furniture out and I can steam clean that carpet and then J can put the furniture together.  After that, I need to get the rest of the house organized.  I have a feeling I'll be running out of time to clean up and prepare.  I just want everything perfect for her arrival.  I hesitate to buy any more items till I have the nursery and the rest of the house in order.  Guess I'm in the nesting phase.

Symptoms I felt this week:

• Breasts still itchy
• Tired and out of breath.  Still finding it hard to walk at lunch at my usual pace
• Definitely hard to move finding it harder to move freely and tie my shoelaces
• Belly popping out 
• Very full belly and very tight sometimes.  Could be Braxton Hicks.
• Baby kicks and movement all over
• Sleeping issues a lot

Ugh, more doctors...

The good news is that it's only a cluster of blood vessels...the Hemangioma.  Bad news is that the radiologist thinks I need an MRI because it's a rather large Hemangioma on my liver.  My primary care decided that I should see a specialist.  So now, I have my next doctor appointment is in about 3 weeks.  Hopefully, he won't think it's necessary to move forward but I do have some questions for him.  I've done some reading on Dr. Google and hormones can cause these.  Since I'm planning on fertility treatments in the next 6 months, I'm hoping this won't be an issue.  At least it's not a malignant tumor.  That was my biggest fear.  Glad I can put that one to bed.

Fear....

The pre-approval is now an approval.  I've made a call to my clinic to find out next steps.  I also sent an email to the loan officer with some questions and voicing my concern over the payment amount.  She wound up calling me to discuss my email.  It was nice to be able to speak to someone.   A person that has been through all the same things I'm going through now.  It's nice not to be just a number.  She said the loan is good to go for 90 days before having to pull a new credit report.  I was glad to hear that.  We still need to make an appointment for a physical.  And apparently I need to apply for the guarantee program and I have no idea how to do that either.  Hopefully, I'll hear back from the clinic on Monday.  I want to move forward but I'm so scared at the same time.  This is the moment I've been waiting for and now I'm scared.  I'm not sure what I'm scared of.  The loan amount? Or is it that I've been chasing my dream of motherhood for so long that I don't know how to actually take that leap?  I guess I also wasn't expecting an approval so quickly. I've gotten used to being turned down or not given the entire amount.  We still have a few months to save some money.  J has promised that I can take 200 from him on his second paycheck.  So even with the loan, I know we can still save money which is important to me.  I also need to take care of another issue.  I had an emergency room visit last weekend.  My stomach has been hurting and they did an ultrasound.  Nothing was found as the cause of my pain but the ER Dr said I had a mass on my liver.  I heard her say 3 cm but J said it had to be mm. If it was cm that would be very large so I'm sure he's right but I think I need confirmation from my primary care Dr.  J wants confirmation too on mass and stomach pain. So I guess I'll find out on next week.  Till then.

Treadmill on the way...

J and I decided sometime in Nov that it would be beneficial to get a treadmill.  I've struggled with going to the gym just for the treadmill and the weather here just sucks.  I never want to brave the elements to do a 30 minute run.  Well, starting on Tuesday, I won't have to worry about that anymore.  We went ahead and purchased a treadmill and it will be delivered and put together at our home on Tuesday.  It was expensive but I've cancelled my gym membership and J and I can both use it.  That makes me very excited that he'll be using it too.  Mostly me though.  I'm hoping this will help with all the blood sugar issues I've been having. Maybe with consistent exercise my A1C will improve before my Doctor appointment in March.  

On the IVF front, I still haven't applied for a medical loan yet.  I'm still waiting for a loan to show paid on my credit report.  I thought it would have shown up paid by now but it looks like next week sometime it will show up.  I'm on pins and needles right now.  I'm always going through financing figures over and over again.  I'm always trying to see how much I can save on my own.  I know we'll need to have some money saved.  I guess the problem is that I want to apply for the loan now but know that it's not in our best interest to do that quite yet.  But the urge is still there all the time.  I want to get this show on the road and I want it to be this year.  I'm so anxious lately.  I pray to G-d every day that he will show me the way.   

Sickness....

Well, I was having a so so week but it ended on a bad note.  I've been getting stabbing pains in my ear on and off and by the end of the week, I was feeling pretty crappy.  Luckily, I was able to get to the doctors and got antibiotics for an ear infection that was starting.  I still feel crappy but hopefully I will start feeling better soon.  While I was waiting for my turn at the pharmacy, I overheard a mother and daughter complaining because the daughters birth control wasn't free this time.  Nice.  Medications that make people better have to be paid for but women can get free birth control. (Obviously not all brands of birth control are free, but you can get it for free if you know which ones are covered)  Nothing pisses me off more than that. Why do people expect everything should be free?  Better yet, why was it put out there by the President that birth control will be free.  Why isn't it all free?  Oh yeah, if it was all free, then we would have even higher taxes to pay for that.  Better yet, why don't I get free infertility treatments?  Seems reasonable to me that if they can give women free birth control to stop pregnancies then they should give free infertility treatments for getting pregnant.  The fact is nothing is free unless you won't work and get food stamps to live off of.  I've worked since I was 13 and haven't stopped yet.  Still working, still contributing to society and still trying to figure out how to save for expensive medical treatments so I can have my family.  I guess I need to learn how to work the system so I can get stuff FREE, FREE, FREE.  Can you tell I'm feeling bitter today?

Crazy week...

Last week was a bit crazy.  I had a headache from Mon-Thurs.  So I went to the Dr on Thursday.  I've been having these migraines since my last cycle and J has wanted me to get them checked out.  I'm pretty sure it's hormone related and my Dr pretty much said it could be too.  She didn't see anything that would indicate a brain issue so she gave me a prescription for migraines.  She also had me get a blood test to make sure my blood sugar wasn't out of control.  Anyway, I got a call the next day and the nurse said I needed to get another blood test to test my thyroid and that I needed to get an ultrasound of my thyroid.  I'm trying hard not to worry.  I don't know what exactly my thyroid numbers need to be and I'm not sure what they even were.  I guess I'll find out more tomorrow.  Now I have a whopper of a cold and feel like crap.  Hope this week isn't as crazy as last week.