Playdates...

So we invited one of G's friends over on Sunday.  She really wanted to play with someone and she likes this girl. The problem is G is overly excited and starts going nuts. She does things that are dangerous and I had to warn her that I'd have to take her friend home if she didn't calm down some.  Then I had to keep reminding her that if she has someone over to play with, she needs to share her toys.  She can't always say, I want to play with that.  She needs to let her friend participate however she wants to.  She used to be better with sharing things but yesterday was a struggle. Then after she left we cleaned up but she kept saying she made the mess, not her. I kept reminding her that this is our home and she was a guest.  I wanted her to have fun and not worry about the mess.  I think her maturity level is not there yet. She wants sleepovers but I just don't think she's ready for them. Can't wait for this evaluation to happen.  I just want her to be ok.  I want her to have friends and flourish.  I want her to be happy and not think that a baby sister would do that because I know it won't.

Trying to change the tone...

So, it's Friday night and I promised G that if J is away on the weekend, she can sleep in my room.  But only on the weekend. So she did well in school today (got a purple, yay) and we went to McDonalds.We ate, she played and then we came home.  She played some more and now we are settled in bed. She is watching her tablet for a bit longer (It's Friday) then she'll need to go to sleep.  Hopefully, we can have a nice day tomorrow too.  It's almost mid month and her evaluation is at the end of March.We'll make it to then. Just taking one day at a time.  

HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE

On another note, I got a bookcase and it'll hopefully be delivered tomorrow.  It's for my office.  I need to get it organized and this is the start.  Can't wait to get it and put it together.  

Better Homes and Gardens 8 Cube Storage Organizer, Multiple Colors Rustic Grey

Food sensitivity...

Today I gave G her meds in the morning vs in the evening  I want to see if it lasts longer in her system to keep her in control a little longer. This morning she was in good spirits waking up. She came in my room early and was miss chatterbox. She asked to come in my bed and since it was almost time to get up, I said yes. Everything went well till she finished her Froot Loops cereal. Suddenly she was a ping pong ball going a mile a minute through the house. Now I'm wondering if she has some sensitivity to food dyes.The cereal she ate most likely has a lot of dyes for the colorful loops. Just something I noticed today.  I know in the past she's had issues with red dye and being angry after eating something with that dye in it. Just taking notes for now.  

False alarms...

Yesterday, J left for his trip.  I took G food shopping after making some homemade waffles. She gobbled it up. Our trip to the store gave J enough time to do a short workout and pack everything he needed for his trip. We had lunch together and then I took G to a new park. She had the best time. She ran and ran, played hard, had lots of kids to play with. So nice to see her like that. We got home around 3:30 or so. She had the rest of her waffle from the morning to snack on while I made creamy beef and shells for dinner. She loves that. We also bought a rainbow slice of cake. She still has a majority of it left over for after dinner tonight.  We did bath and go ready for bed, however she was still running on so much enengy and not listening. I eventually lost my temper and she started crying. She doesn't understand why I'm angry all the time. She really doesn't realize what she's doing. It broke my heart and I don't want it to be that way for her. I'm really hoping this evaluation will help get her started on a path to understanding what's happening to her.  I just wish it was sooner. I will say the surprise for the evening was a malfunction in the smoke/carbon monoxide detector. It went off for 15 sec as loud as it could be. My daughter slept through it tough. I checked all the rooms upstairs and downstairs, then called J. We decided to be cautious and call 911 just in case. My cousins perished from carbon monoxide poisoning and it was enough reason for me to call and have them check it out. G and I waited in the car outside. They came by and checked it all out and said it could've been a speck of dust. In all my years with J and having these devices in my apartments/house, it has never gone off for no reason. But anyway, it was all ok and somehow G and I managed to get back to sleep for the night.  

She's the energizer bunny...

OMG. She doesn't stop moving. She doesn't stop going. She's just having fun but she goes and goes and goes. She goes in a zone and doesn't stop. No matter how much I tell her to stop and do something, she keeps on going and going and going. I hate the thought of mind altering drugs but we do need to do something. She was running toward her foam chair meaning to hit her head into the foam but instead she when head on into the wall. I'm sure you can figure out that didn't go well. Can't wait for the evaluation to take place.

Happy 25 Years

Has it really been 25 years together? Hmm. Not. Being a pilot wife means 1/2 your time is spent alone.  Alone on weekends, holidays, birthdays, anniversaries.  Long weekends mean nothing as a pilots wife.  I've been luckly though.  Through all the work struggles in his career, the time I needed him home the most he was. When I was pregnant and G's first year of life.  I'm so glad he got that time to be around her and help me acclimate to motherhood.  So maybe we've only been together for 12-15 years total, but it's the quality of that time that matters, right. Besides, I loved my alone time. Just me and my cats. Now, it's me, cats and G. Happy 25 years babe.

February 27, 1998

 

Finally got an app...

Took long enough. After calling a number of places, I finally got an app at the end of March. We still have to deal with her behavior and work to improve it but we need to get some therapy as soon as we can.  We have a parent/teacher conference coming up on Wed so we'll get a good idea of where she is when we talk to her.  She started with purples and rainbows (excellent and better than excellant) to blues and a few yellows (good and not good). Orange is at the bottom and means didn't do well and got in trouble. Yellow is also some getting in trouble. 

On another note, J and I are celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary on 2/27.  We are going to Long Horns for dinner tomorrow. It was supposed to be tonight but G was acting up and we just couldn't go with her acting that way.  Hopefully we can get a good pic tomorrow while we are at the restaurant.

Giuli loves waffles and pancakes, especially homemade ones.  I'm looking at a new waffle maker at Amazon.This is one I've been looking at but not sure yet since it's not a traditional flip waffle maker. 

 Cuisinart VMW200PC1FR Vertical Belgium Waffle Maker (Renewed) Visit the Amazon Renewed Store 4.7 out of 5 stars 86 ratings Price: $39.87        

Figuring out G

No matter what I say, my daughter doesn’t do what I expect. She wants to be in pre-school instead of Kindergarten. She wants to play all day instead of going to school. J keeps saying she’s not normal. She doesn’t listen to me and I think more discipline when she behaves that way needs to take place. She needs to lose some of her privilages. I’m working on printing out her schedule for the morning and one for the evening. She also needs to start helping me do things in the evening. Maybe help make dinner, help set and clear the table, etc. I think this also may help guide her in showing proper behavior if she can take part of doing.

Filling up our home...

So slowly we are working on setting up our home.  Our family room is nearly complete.  Just needs some pictures up.  We found these awesome bookcases with doors.  Perfect for the space and it hides the dish TV equipment so it looks really clean and not cluttered.

If you are interested in this, here is the link to where I got them on Amazon.  

Prepac Tall Bookcase with 2 Shaker Doors, 80" H, White

Here it is in my house.  We got 3 in a row.  Still working on what to put on the shelves.  We have some shelves on the top that need to be painted to match and we'll put that up on the opposite wall to hold some larger pictures.   

Our New Bookcases

I feel like the house is coming together slowly.  Next, we hopefully can update our kitchen with a new island.  

I'm also starting to work on some other ideas to earn money.  Looking into affiliate marketing.  I'm taking it slow and working it into my blog as well.  The bookcase link is part of my new adventure.

New Year! New House! Settling In...

So surgery for the little one went ok.  It had its ups and downs but in the end, her behavior improved enough to where her teacher noticed.  Then we did our next move into the house from the apartment.  We did this on 12/23 so we can be here on Christmas with G's new bedroom and playroom all set up.  We really have a big house with lots of room right now.  We can't even furnish it all.  The dining room and living rooms are empty.  But we have a full family room and kitchen.  And I have an office again.  Much needed.  G has made a friend and we've had several playdates.  She's a grade higher but that's because of where her birthday is compared to G.  Next we have a treadmill coming at the beginning of February.  J really needs it and I'd like to get some use out of it too.  We're also getting our doctor appointments in now.  Healthcare has really changed since Covid and it's just been hard to find decent care.  But so far, I like my endocrinologist.  I have a physical coming up with a PCP and a Dermatologist as well.  On Monday, I'll make an appt for a GYN.  I want to make sure I get my checkups.  I'm at an age where I need to really make sure I'm ok and if not, knowing sooner rather than later is better.

Anyway, that's my update for January.  Let's have a great new year.  

Surgery for the little...

Well, she got through it. We arrived at the hospital around 6:20am. Checked in and she was given happy juice at around 7am. 7:30am they rolled her out on the bed to the OR. Miss princess waved to her people as she went through the hall.  So glad for happy juice. It did the trick. The doctor came in around 8 something and said he removed large adenoids and tonsils and she's now in recovery and doing well.  Nurse said she was up and not even crying yet. Then they wheeled her back to us and she was crying. They gave her some Tylenol with codeine in it and along with a popsicle to lick she settled down. And by 10 something we were in the car going home and then she threw up...in the car. Lucky for us, she hadn't eaten any food so nothing really to throw up. Now we are home and she napped, took some Motrin, and now watching her tablet with Dad. She's a super brave girl and doing great. Alarm is set so I'll have her next Tylenol dose ready for her to take. The plan is to keep the meds up so she's not unmedicated till further notice.  So far, she's had an ice pop and 2 cups of ice cream. One chocolate and one vanilla. Hopefully she stays happy. Praying.... 

Nice weekend...

It was such a nice weekend. Giuli and I went shopping. I got her some clothes at Walmart and Target. I just wish I could find her clothes in the garage but I guess we'll have to wait till we move again. Poor girl.  She feels like we got rid of her things. Not true but nonetheless we can't locate them. But we had fun shopping and she bought a new doll with the money she's earned from us. I notice that at least once or twice a week she gets a yellow. But her days have been better than before and she said she has one friend in school. Hoping I can set up a playdate for them. We'll see if it's possible. Tomorrow is her pre-op visit with the ENT. I have some questions for the doctor and we need to figure out when to tell her about the surgery she's going to have. Hoping we can go in the back till she's asleep or given happy juice. Her snoring is hideous and lately, she's been making an odd noise from her throat every once in a while.  Praying this surgery will help my little girl sleep well.

Tough days...

I'm sort of feeling a bit down these days. I'm trying to think positively, and working on myself.  Yesterday I went off track but I'm back to it today.  I was down yesterday.  Today is better and last night was good too.  Giuli had a good day yesterday and hopefully today she'll have a good day too.  I promised she can sleep in my room tonight and tomorrow since it's the weekend and J is away.  She has been doing well and eating well too.  This weekend is a shopping weekend too.  I can't find her clothes from IL so we are going shopping for some new things.  Coats, dresses, skirts, pants, tops oh my.

We have her pre-op appointment on Monday afternoon.  I'm thinking we will start to discuss the surgery with her after that.  I'm glad it's after Halloween so she can enjoy that day.  And hopefully, she'll recover quickly and enjoy all the pops and ice cream she can eat.  She's been watching on her tablet stories of kids in the hospital for something.  Maybe she can glorify it so she's not so scared.  I'm getting my list of questions for the Dr set up. I'm praying we can go back in there with her till she falls asleep and be there when she wakes up.  Also want to know what technique they are going to use.  After speaking to others who had kids with this procedure, I hear that cauterizing it and not using a blade is the best outcome for quick recovery.  Hoping that the Dr has all the answers I want to hear. LOL.  

Personal goals...

So we've been settling into our new lives here in a new state.  It's different and we're going to do it all again in December but it'll be good.  We'll be in a house.  A big house.  I'll have an office with a door and it will be set up to be an office and not a junk room. It was hard in our old house because before Giuli, we had a guest room (Giuli's room) and the extra room. I had a daybed in there.  When we were having Giuli, I moved everything to the junk room/office.  So crowded. I eventually moved the daybed back to Giuli's room for her to use.  Still, the other room was full of junk and disorganized.  No big deal since we didn't use it.  Then Covid hit and I needed an office.  So I fixed it up as best as I could but it was still really a junk room.  Now we live in a 2-bedroom apartment and my office is in the middle of the room so you can imagine how excited I am to have an office again.  And Giuli will have a playroom again.  I bigger and nicer playroom.  I can't wait to decorate her new room with brand-new toys.  Just so happens that her birthday and Christmas will be around the time we move into the new place.   

So my next thing these days are my goals.  I've been feeling really crappy about myself.  I keep eating poorly and my blood sugar and weight are what make me notice it a lot.  So I'm working on losing weight by eating better and making an effort to go to the apartment complexes' gym.  This week has started off great so I plan to keep it up.  On 11/19 we have a Christmas Mini photo shoot and I want to look and feel great.  Someone at work mentioned having my makeup done by a professional makeup artist.  I'm looking into it.  Along with finding a place for a nice haircut too.  I'm super excited to do this and I don't do it ever so "why not?"  Can't wait to share the pics.

Moving forward...

So we did 3 days of the meds and G was exhausted at around 2 in the afternoon every day.  She didn't want to do anything.  Not even play at a big playground.  She tried and just wanted to sit at a computer inside.  That's not my little girl at all.  Made me so sad.  So I talked to the Dr and they said to try skipping the morning and start giving it to her at night.  So we did that last night.  We'll see how it goes when I pick her up today.  I'm hoping she had a good day today.  She had gotten 2 yellows this week. One on Monday and one on Tuesday and usually that means no ice cream treat on Wednesday.  I prepared her for that and I asked her when I picked her up on Wed if she was disappointed.  She said yes.  I said we have ice cream at home and we can have it tonight since she was a good girl at daycare.  She handled it very well.  I'm hoping it's sinking in that she needs to behave properly in school and do what her teachers ask of her.  I'm hoping she got a green today.  She's off tomorrow and Monday so daycare all day tomorrow and J will do things with her on Monday.  I'm working.  

I hope I can get a couple of posts done for my business in the next few days.  I'm trying to get myself back in the groove of things.  It's been so hard with G's issues these days and dealing with living in a new environment.  We got our cars registered and licenses completed.  We're official residents of this state now.  After 20 years of living in Illinois, it feels strange to me living here.  Lots of tall trees and long summer/fall weather.  Loving it right now.  

Starting something new...

So one of my mentees has a separate business.  She asked me if I was interested in becoming an affiliate and after looking at the website and jewelry, I decided to join.  The company is called My Snappy Place.  I just got my affiliate link.  I have some kinks to work out but here is the link.  So far, I'm loving the jewelry and can't wait to get my order.

My Snappy Place

On another note, I started G on the meds.  I'm not sure it's the answer but I'm giving it a try.  She's been on it for 2 days and I'm already worried about the side effects.  Two days in a row she got very sleepy in the afternoon.  Today I took her Burger Kings playhouse and she played for a little while but not as much as I had expected and then she fell asleep on the way home.  Once home, she went to her room to continue her nap.  That's not my daughter.  She was so sedated and I didn't like it.  I sent a note to her teacher so she's aware of what's going on and can also let us know if she sees anything different, good or bad.  Hoping in the next few days the sleepiness will go away.  

Lot's to work on...

So these last few weeks seem to be getting slightly better.  I don't want to deceive myself and think she's doing so much better because I'm sure I'll get disappointed if I do that.  But it looks like she's really trying to do better and I love her for trying so hard.  This week was hard.  G got sick at daycare on Wednesday and had a rough night with throwing up and a fever.  Thursday she still had some fever but recovered well.  It was so bizarre because Wednesday morning we took her to the ENT and she was fine.  That evening she got sick.  So quick.  But the word from the ENT is that they want to do surgery to remove her adenoids and tonsils.  The Dr does think it's a contributing factor in her behavior.  Then Thursday, J went alone to the pediatrician to discuss her behavior and the screening.  They want to try meds but the opposite of a stimulant.  More of a sedative to slow her down.  J also wanted to not do the surgery till we move but I'm against that.  I think it'll make a huge difference in her life.  I told J I would speak to the counselor about the meds and my concerns.  Also about the concern of waiting to do surgery.  J leaves tomorrow and will be home by the end of the week.  Might be nice to have the bed to myself and the TV.  

Trying to get answers...

Moving has been hard.  Hard on all of us but especially G.  She has not been accepting of this move.  In the last week, I've seen some changes.  A little better than before.  I've been trying to spend more time with her.  I need to be consistent with that.  That's my new goal for her.  Every day, we get at least 10 minutes of Giuli time.  Play whatever game she wants to play.  I want to build happy memories of us spending time together.  But I have to admit, something is not always right with her.  When she goes downhill, she hits the ground hard.  I know she doesn't realize what she's doing so trying to stop her is hard and exhausting.  Tomorrow we have the ENT appointment.  One of the pieces of the puzzle coming together.  On Thursday, we talk to her Dr about the Vanderbilt Assessment we turned in.  Praying one of these doctors can help get Giuli the help she needs.  She's not a bad child.  But this move didn't bring out the best in her.  Change is not something she likes but it's the way life goes.  It doesn't help that we still live out of boxes.  J refuses to accept living here but I try to make things normal for her.  It's not about him, it's about taking care of G and making sure she's ok.  But she'll be ok.  I'm positive about that.  We love her and will do anything to make sure she's ok.

Little Girl Problems...

Things have been tough in August and now September.  G is not adjusting well to doing the right thing when she's on the van to the daycare or even at daycares.  We are now on daycare #3 and I'm praying it will go smoothly or we are screwed.  We have her in counseling now too.  We go as a family and she seems to like the therapist.  He knows how to talk to her and she has a positive reaction.  He doesn't think she has ADHD but that she's just having an issue adjusting to new environments.  He pointed that out too.  In his office, she sat down and drew a picture for him.  She was totally focused on what she was doing. She wasn't out of control or doing anything wrong.  I just love her to death and hate that she's so angry inside that she doesn't know how to manage it.  To add to the difficulty these days, both J and I have been ill as well so managing a disobedient child is so hard to do.  We also started noticing some issues with Giuli and breathing at night.  She's snoring and at one point she stopped breathing.  She then kicks violently and starts all over again.  We got her to the Dr and sent her for an x-ray.  She has large adenoids and tonsils so we need to get to an ENT.  Currently, I put her back on Flonase and that seems to help with her sleeping right now.  If she has interrupted sleep that could contribute to some of her bad behavior.  Not all of it.  We need to work on behavior modification at home as well.  I guess we failed on that and wish we had started it sooner.  Now we have an angry 5-year old that gets out of control when she's tired or overstimulated.  The Dr had her teacher and us fill out the Vanderbilt assessment but right now, I'm against mind-altering meds to fix her behavior.  We need to work on that at home and hopefully, she'll get it.  I need to get myself together.  I have an hour before we pick her up and I need to not be so emotional.  I'm just feeling so sad right now.  Feeling ill doesn't help either.  

Changes in your life...

Love this quote.  It's the story of my life. Lots of bad chapters, wrong paths, and failed dreams on the path to building my family.  But now she's here.  If having her was easy, I wouldn't be the person I am today.  That shaped me in ways I didn't like at the time but I realize now, that I'm a better mom for going through it.  Don't get me wrong, I would have been the happiest person if I could have just decided, let's have a baby and it just happen. But that's not what the plan was.  I'm forever grateful and blessed to have her in my life.  

I think the same can be true for this online business.  I've had bad chapters and taken wrong paths, but I'm not giving up.  I know I can do it.  Heck, look what I went through to have my daughter.  I will succeed as long as I keep trying, keep an open mind, and change things up when necessary.  And I really like doing this.  I get to be creative and have fun.  

Struggles...

So we did it. J dropped us off and left.  He'll be back next week but so typical of him.  It's happened before. I guess it forces me to get used to the situation as Giuli also needs to as well.  I'm exhausted, overwhelmed, and not accustomed to the humidity and hour difference but soon we both will be.  We enjoyed some time at the pool today and I promised her we'd go again tomorrow.  Maybe we'll do it earlier.  I honestly don't plan on going anywhere tomorrow.  Maybe I'll see what the school list is and start getting some of the supplies needed for school.  I've already spent so much at Walmart in 3 days.  We've been living on frozen foods but at least it's not fast food.  Can't stand it anymore.  It's 7:50 and I'm trying to get her back on schedule.  I got her to sleep in her room last night.  Well, some of the night at least.  It's a work in progress. Hopefully, tonight she'll sleep the entire night in her room.  Fingers crossed. 

Tonight is the LIVE workshop

Get started today!  Click on the photo below to sign up and learn more about this opportunity!  

Can you say NUTS...

Seriously feeling like that lately.  Things have been so crazy here.  We have so much going on and I'm trying to stay connected to my online business.  Sometimes it's hard so I give myself some grace about it.  Not many people can handle a full-time job, side gig, my secret adventure, and still, be a full-time wife and mom.  Things are changing.  They are scary.  The time crunch is here.  With that.  Have a great night :)

Trying new things...

 So I'm trying another blog but just not feeling it.  Maybe it's everything that's going on around me that interfering with my positive energy lately.  I'm not a quitter.  It took me 19 years to finally bring home my little girl and if that's not a commitment, I don't know what is.  I've been working on my online business for a little over a year.  I have a few buyers and some buyers that were refunded.  I need to turn it around for myself.  I know this isn't the best time to worry about all this and in about a month or so, I'll be able to focus better to grow my business.  Maybe I need to give up the other blog.  I love this blog.  It's my memoir of years of struggling to bring my daughter into this world.  It's years of living with a husband only home part-time (although he's been home a really long time now and I need some serious alone time).   Here is a pic of my family and me.  

My Family

Catching up...

It's been a long time since I posted.  Lots of things have happened.  We got through the holidays with a visit to J's family.  It was really nice to see everyone on the holiday.  They gave Giuli a birthday party.  And yes, she is pretty spoiled but I'm not sorry about that.  She's now a 5-year-old and she'll be starting Kindergarten in the fall.  Crazy how 5 years have gone by so quickly.  I'm still working on my new business venture and hope and pray each day that I'm doing the right thing.  I finally got a buyer that didn't refund and seems rather excited to do this.  I think she'll do a really good job too. J is having his surgery next Tuesday.  I'm having anxiety over it.  I know it's routine but you never know what could happen.  I'm just going to keep praying about it and know that G-d is looking out for us.  We are hoping to finally get the house together, sell, and move to GA before Giuli starts school.  We'll see how it goes.  One step at a time, right? 

Medical issues....still!

J is still recovering from Covid.  Still has the A-fib.  Still scared his heart is going to just stop beating.  Last night, G was in bed and crying.  She wanted Daddy to stay with her.  She was scared because of Daddy's heart.  She was crying her eyes out and so scared.  It broke my heart to realize she was scared of what's happening to him.  I assured her that Daddy was going to be ok.  J came in and hugged her and said the same thing.  She finally went to sleep.  My poor little girl.  Too young to think of these things.  I just want to protect her from the world sometimes.  J is going to go to the Mayo Clinic and have a consult there.  I guess a second opinion would be a good idea before going through surgery on an organ you can't live without.

Medical problems...

So J spent 10 days in the hospital with Covid.  Wish they would have started some treatment but I guess suffering is what the Dr's and the state want.  He apparently went into afib a few times but they neglected to tell him about it.  When he looks back, he realizes now what happened was the afib.  But even when discharged from the hospital, it was never mentioned on the discharge papers or by any Dr or nurse.  They basically dumped him out by the ambulance bay.  And why like that is what I'd like to know.  It all seemed to be a huge stigma and punishment.  You didn't get the Covid vaccine and do as you were told to do, so now you are going to be treated like a piece of crap.  He got lectured longer about getting the vaccine than his current medical problems.  Now he has to have surgery to correct the heart problem.  So pissed about that right now.  He will be ok.  I just want our lives to go back to normal.  

My Girl is Home...

 What a day it was.  Got up at 4:30am to get ready.  Airport, through security, the pump went off so needed a pat-down.  Got breakfast, (smart move since I didn't get another chance to eat), gate, plane, take-off, land, run through the airport to find Grandparents and G.  Check her in and luggage, go back through security and same crap with a pat-down only now I have G and that's another level of panic.  But she did great for the most part.  Oh and I had the super heavy, I can't manage car seat with me to take on the plane.   A very nice passenger helped me get it on the plane.  Then we buckled and took off.  Now, after we landed I waited till everyone was off.  No flight attendant helped.  Told G to stay in the isle till I got back.  Took the seat off and the flight attendant said I can't return and why was I.  I told her I'm getting my child.  Sorry they were too stupid to see me dragging a car seat with nothing else off the plane.  They were rather busy laughing and talking.  Oh well.  Got G and made it out the jet bridge.  Then, strapped the car seat to my new 4 wheel helper.  G then strapped herself in and we made our way through the airport.  Got to the luggage and found it.  Called the car service and went on to the Chicago broken streets where everything went bad.  Note to self.  G can't be in the seat at this point.  Butt dialed J, my sister, and the driver.  Sweat from parts of my body I didn't know would sweat.  But, we were on our way home.  Got home, relaxed for a little, and then went to get G her COVID test.  What a day but my girl is now home and we are loving it.  

August 2021 = Covid

So it's been a hard month.  J brought Covid home from his trip.  Diagnosed on 8/3 and I got diagnosed on 8/5.  By Sunday, Jim was admitted to the hospital and put on oxygen.  I tried to take care of our very healthy 4-year-old, work my job, and take care of myself.  By 8/13 I arranged for my daughter to go stay with her Aunt, Uncle, and Grandparents.  She's been there ever since.  I miss her like crazy and want her to come home.  Jim is home now, but still having some heart issues so driving to get her is out of the question.  As of now, I'm taking a flight on Monday to go bring her home the same day.  I'm nervous, worried about problems with the airline, getting through security going, and coming home.  It's a lot to think about for one day of travel.  But my baby will be home.  I've had some insecurities come up lately too.  I know it's crazy.  But a long time ago, my best friend made comments that stung and still come up sometimes in my head.  I gave birth to her, I love her and I know in my heart that she loves me but after she was born, for the longest time, I doubted that she loved me.  My MIL made a comment.  It was an innocent comment but it brought back those doubts.  I don't blame my MIL for saying anything.  Well, I do blame her for carrying a scissor around with her so she can cut my daughter's hair the first chance she gets.  Trying to let it go but next time she goes to their house, I'm making it clear that cutting any piece of hair is off-limits.  It's not her place and I don't understand why she keeps doing it.  Anyway, I'm excited for her to come home.  

COVID....

 So hubby goes away from mid-July and returns on July 30th.  On July 31 he gets a call from his HR department telling him he came in close contact with someone who has tested positive for COVID.  If he got word the day before he wouldn't have come home.  Now, he's home, isolating in our bedroom.  Fever comes and goes along with body aches.  Since we didn't know till Saturday afternoon, lots of snuggles with the little one, and we slept in the same bed, touched the same things, etc.  Now I'm starting to feel ill but I'm also very stressed.  The little one is home for 2 weeks and I'm still trying to work full time.  haha on me. And I'm sleeping on the couch (kind of comfy) but does it matter at this point.  I'm fully exhausted and coughing a lot.   A little pressure on my chest comes and goes.  I need prayers that we will get through this.  I know the survival rate is 99% so I keep reminding myself of that.  

Trying new things...

So what I've realized on this journey is that it's always changing.  You have to push yourself all the time.  Keep at it.  Every day you must post.  I'm trying to keep up with 3x/day.  I redid my ad.  Some days I get results, some days I don't.  But I have to keep on trying and won't let that get me down.  I try to keep on being inspiring.  Try to engage more with the followers.  This is all the time.  Once I get buyers, it'll start to get easier.  My followers are growing.  It takes time to build up anything.  If it was easy, then everyone would do it.  

Friday accomplishments...

So I had today off.  I had some goals I wanted to accomplish.  I was determined to fix the window screen.  We have some other screens that need mending but I figured, let me try one and see how it goes.  Well, fixing a screen is really an easy thing to do.  I watched a youtube video and was able to remove the damaged screen.  I then cleaned it up a bit and went to the store.  I needed new screen materials, a new screen plunger, and a spline and spline tool.  Got it all.  The screen plunger didn't work well.  OK. off to Ace to see if they have them.  found them. With J's help, I got the screen plungers working.  I then laid out the screen, cut around it so it had some hanging over.  Used the spline tool to push the spline into the groove.  Then cut the excess off. Awesome, it was done...Wait...oops, I cut the screen.  Take it all apart and do it again only more careful when I cut the excess off.  And really the hardest part of all that was getting the screen back in the window.  But now it's done and I want to take care of the rest of the window..  The next thing I know, it's 3pm and the day is almost over.  So one screen fixed is what I  accomplished on my day off. YAY.   

Listening to the lessons...

Being an online entrepreneur is so new for me.  It's a new way of thinking.  I'm not an employee to myself.  I need to own my why, goals, failures, and successes.  It's a work in progress and if I keep at it, I'll succeed.  I might have failures along the way but in the end, I will succeed.  

Digital Business Blues....

 So it's not always sunshine and roses.  I'm trying to plan, listen to masterminds, learn, learn, learn.  Work on perfecting my messages.  Keep on posting.  Some drawbacks.  If you change anything on your page, you seem to get dinged by FB.  I just need to plug through it and keep on posting my message.  Keep on engaging and connecting with people that like and follow my page.  Sometimes it gets hard.  But I am determined to be successful.  

Bumps in the road...

So, I'm trying a new thing.  One of the coaches had a video about it.   I'm setting up duplicate ads for $2/day each.  I did one duplicate.  Did another duplicate with a small change. Did another duplicate with a different image.  This morning, it said I had 2 leads on that one.  So I decided to do another duplicate with another image.  Still waiting for the review to be approved by Facebook.  Got another lead on my main ad that's for $10/day.  Here's the issue.  I didn't get any emails for any of these leads which means these people signed up with someone else within the last 6 months. So I'm starting to feel defeated.  I'm still plugging away and refuse to stop now.  Online is the way of the future and I'm determined to win this battle.  I will find my successful ad.  I will find my niche and my dreams will come true.  All good things come to those who wait, right.  I'm praying each day for us to get through the hard times.   I know we will.  We have before and we will again.  I didn't work so hard for J to change his ways and for Giuli to come along only to give up when things get tough. 

Goals....

 So I'm reading up on how to build up my Facebook Business Page.  I need to set some goals.  I'm watching a webinar on Marketing my Business Page and they suggest coming up with a content calendar.  It's not a new term for me, just didn't think of applying it to my Business Page.  But now I will.  It's a great idea.  I need ideas to post 3x/day and have them ready because I'm busy with my day job.  So, step one is in the works.  Yay...

Leads....

 So yesterday, I got 3 leads.  Today, it says one lead and I didn't get an email to back that up.  I'm taking this one day at a time.  I will get there with perseverance.  I will get there if I put myself out there day after day.  I just need to keep on posting content, build up my followers and I'm sure I'll start getting leads and then buyers.  Each day that I post, I'm more confident in who I am and what I'm doing.  I can feel the difference in me if that makes sense.  I feel the changes and change is good.