Nice weekend...

It was such a nice weekend. Giuli and I went shopping. I got her some clothes at Walmart and Target. I just wish I could find her clothes in the garage but I guess we'll have to wait till we move again. Poor girl.  She feels like we got rid of her things. Not true but nonetheless we can't locate them. But we had fun shopping and she bought a new doll with the money she's earned from us. I notice that at least once or twice a week she gets a yellow. But her days have been better than before and she said she has one friend in school. Hoping I can set up a playdate for them. We'll see if it's possible. Tomorrow is her pre-op visit with the ENT. I have some questions for the doctor and we need to figure out when to tell her about the surgery she's going to have. Hoping we can go in the back till she's asleep or given happy juice. Her snoring is hideous and lately, she's been making an odd noise from her throat every once in a while.  Praying this surgery will help my little girl sleep well.

Tough days...

I'm sort of feeling a bit down these days. I'm trying to think positively, and working on myself.  Yesterday I went off track but I'm back to it today.  I was down yesterday.  Today is better and last night was good too.  Giuli had a good day yesterday and hopefully today she'll have a good day too.  I promised she can sleep in my room tonight and tomorrow since it's the weekend and J is away.  She has been doing well and eating well too.  This weekend is a shopping weekend too.  I can't find her clothes from IL so we are going shopping for some new things.  Coats, dresses, skirts, pants, tops oh my.

We have her pre-op appointment on Monday afternoon.  I'm thinking we will start to discuss the surgery with her after that.  I'm glad it's after Halloween so she can enjoy that day.  And hopefully, she'll recover quickly and enjoy all the pops and ice cream she can eat.  She's been watching on her tablet stories of kids in the hospital for something.  Maybe she can glorify it so she's not so scared.  I'm getting my list of questions for the Dr set up. I'm praying we can go back in there with her till she falls asleep and be there when she wakes up.  Also want to know what technique they are going to use.  After speaking to others who had kids with this procedure, I hear that cauterizing it and not using a blade is the best outcome for quick recovery.  Hoping that the Dr has all the answers I want to hear. LOL.  

Personal goals...

So we've been settling into our new lives here in a new state.  It's different and we're going to do it all again in December but it'll be good.  We'll be in a house.  A big house.  I'll have an office with a door and it will be set up to be an office and not a junk room. It was hard in our old house because before Giuli, we had a guest room (Giuli's room) and the extra room. I had a daybed in there.  When we were having Giuli, I moved everything to the junk room/office.  So crowded. I eventually moved the daybed back to Giuli's room for her to use.  Still, the other room was full of junk and disorganized.  No big deal since we didn't use it.  Then Covid hit and I needed an office.  So I fixed it up as best as I could but it was still really a junk room.  Now we live in a 2-bedroom apartment and my office is in the middle of the room so you can imagine how excited I am to have an office again.  And Giuli will have a playroom again.  I bigger and nicer playroom.  I can't wait to decorate her new room with brand-new toys.  Just so happens that her birthday and Christmas will be around the time we move into the new place.   

So my next thing these days are my goals.  I've been feeling really crappy about myself.  I keep eating poorly and my blood sugar and weight are what make me notice it a lot.  So I'm working on losing weight by eating better and making an effort to go to the apartment complexes' gym.  This week has started off great so I plan to keep it up.  On 11/19 we have a Christmas Mini photo shoot and I want to look and feel great.  Someone at work mentioned having my makeup done by a professional makeup artist.  I'm looking into it.  Along with finding a place for a nice haircut too.  I'm super excited to do this and I don't do it ever so "why not?"  Can't wait to share the pics.

Moving forward...

So we did 3 days of the meds and G was exhausted at around 2 in the afternoon every day.  She didn't want to do anything.  Not even play at a big playground.  She tried and just wanted to sit at a computer inside.  That's not my little girl at all.  Made me so sad.  So I talked to the Dr and they said to try skipping the morning and start giving it to her at night.  So we did that last night.  We'll see how it goes when I pick her up today.  I'm hoping she had a good day today.  She had gotten 2 yellows this week. One on Monday and one on Tuesday and usually that means no ice cream treat on Wednesday.  I prepared her for that and I asked her when I picked her up on Wed if she was disappointed.  She said yes.  I said we have ice cream at home and we can have it tonight since she was a good girl at daycare.  She handled it very well.  I'm hoping it's sinking in that she needs to behave properly in school and do what her teachers ask of her.  I'm hoping she got a green today.  She's off tomorrow and Monday so daycare all day tomorrow and J will do things with her on Monday.  I'm working.  

I hope I can get a couple of posts done for my business in the next few days.  I'm trying to get myself back in the groove of things.  It's been so hard with G's issues these days and dealing with living in a new environment.  We got our cars registered and licenses completed.  We're official residents of this state now.  After 20 years of living in Illinois, it feels strange to me living here.  Lots of tall trees and long summer/fall weather.  Loving it right now.  

Starting something new...

So one of my mentees has a separate business.  She asked me if I was interested in becoming an affiliate and after looking at the website and jewelry, I decided to join.  The company is called My Snappy Place.  I just got my affiliate link.  I have some kinks to work out but here is the link.  So far, I'm loving the jewelry and can't wait to get my order.

My Snappy Place

On another note, I started G on the meds.  I'm not sure it's the answer but I'm giving it a try.  She's been on it for 2 days and I'm already worried about the side effects.  Two days in a row she got very sleepy in the afternoon.  Today I took her Burger Kings playhouse and she played for a little while but not as much as I had expected and then she fell asleep on the way home.  Once home, she went to her room to continue her nap.  That's not my daughter.  She was so sedated and I didn't like it.  I sent a note to her teacher so she's aware of what's going on and can also let us know if she sees anything different, good or bad.  Hoping in the next few days the sleepiness will go away.  

Lot's to work on...

So these last few weeks seem to be getting slightly better.  I don't want to deceive myself and think she's doing so much better because I'm sure I'll get disappointed if I do that.  But it looks like she's really trying to do better and I love her for trying so hard.  This week was hard.  G got sick at daycare on Wednesday and had a rough night with throwing up and a fever.  Thursday she still had some fever but recovered well.  It was so bizarre because Wednesday morning we took her to the ENT and she was fine.  That evening she got sick.  So quick.  But the word from the ENT is that they want to do surgery to remove her adenoids and tonsils.  The Dr does think it's a contributing factor in her behavior.  Then Thursday, J went alone to the pediatrician to discuss her behavior and the screening.  They want to try meds but the opposite of a stimulant.  More of a sedative to slow her down.  J also wanted to not do the surgery till we move but I'm against that.  I think it'll make a huge difference in her life.  I told J I would speak to the counselor about the meds and my concerns.  Also about the concern of waiting to do surgery.  J leaves tomorrow and will be home by the end of the week.  Might be nice to have the bed to myself and the TV.  

Trying to get answers...

Moving has been hard.  Hard on all of us but especially G.  She has not been accepting of this move.  In the last week, I've seen some changes.  A little better than before.  I've been trying to spend more time with her.  I need to be consistent with that.  That's my new goal for her.  Every day, we get at least 10 minutes of Giuli time.  Play whatever game she wants to play.  I want to build happy memories of us spending time together.  But I have to admit, something is not always right with her.  When she goes downhill, she hits the ground hard.  I know she doesn't realize what she's doing so trying to stop her is hard and exhausting.  Tomorrow we have the ENT appointment.  One of the pieces of the puzzle coming together.  On Thursday, we talk to her Dr about the Vanderbilt Assessment we turned in.  Praying one of these doctors can help get Giuli the help she needs.  She's not a bad child.  But this move didn't bring out the best in her.  Change is not something she likes but it's the way life goes.  It doesn't help that we still live out of boxes.  J refuses to accept living here but I try to make things normal for her.  It's not about him, it's about taking care of G and making sure she's ok.  But she'll be ok.  I'm positive about that.  We love her and will do anything to make sure she's ok.

Little Girl Problems...

Things have been tough in August and now September.  G is not adjusting well to doing the right thing when she's on the van to the daycare or even at daycares.  We are now on daycare #3 and I'm praying it will go smoothly or we are screwed.  We have her in counseling now too.  We go as a family and she seems to like the therapist.  He knows how to talk to her and she has a positive reaction.  He doesn't think she has ADHD but that she's just having an issue adjusting to new environments.  He pointed that out too.  In his office, she sat down and drew a picture for him.  She was totally focused on what she was doing. She wasn't out of control or doing anything wrong.  I just love her to death and hate that she's so angry inside that she doesn't know how to manage it.  To add to the difficulty these days, both J and I have been ill as well so managing a disobedient child is so hard to do.  We also started noticing some issues with Giuli and breathing at night.  She's snoring and at one point she stopped breathing.  She then kicks violently and starts all over again.  We got her to the Dr and sent her for an x-ray.  She has large adenoids and tonsils so we need to get to an ENT.  Currently, I put her back on Flonase and that seems to help with her sleeping right now.  If she has interrupted sleep that could contribute to some of her bad behavior.  Not all of it.  We need to work on behavior modification at home as well.  I guess we failed on that and wish we had started it sooner.  Now we have an angry 5-year old that gets out of control when she's tired or overstimulated.  The Dr had her teacher and us fill out the Vanderbilt assessment but right now, I'm against mind-altering meds to fix her behavior.  We need to work on that at home and hopefully, she'll get it.  I need to get myself together.  I have an hour before we pick her up and I need to not be so emotional.  I'm just feeling so sad right now.  Feeling ill doesn't help either.  

Changes in your life...

Love this quote.  It's the story of my life. Lots of bad chapters, wrong paths, and failed dreams on the path to building my family.  But now she's here.  If having her was easy, I wouldn't be the person I am today.  That shaped me in ways I didn't like at the time but I realize now, that I'm a better mom for going through it.  Don't get me wrong, I would have been the happiest person if I could have just decided, let's have a baby and it just happen. But that's not what the plan was.  I'm forever grateful and blessed to have her in my life.  

I think the same can be true for this online business.  I've had bad chapters and taken wrong paths, but I'm not giving up.  I know I can do it.  Heck, look what I went through to have my daughter.  I will succeed as long as I keep trying, keep an open mind, and change things up when necessary.  And I really like doing this.  I get to be creative and have fun.  

Struggles...

So we did it. J dropped us off and left.  He'll be back next week but so typical of him.  It's happened before. I guess it forces me to get used to the situation as Giuli also needs to as well.  I'm exhausted, overwhelmed, and not accustomed to the humidity and hour difference but soon we both will be.  We enjoyed some time at the pool today and I promised her we'd go again tomorrow.  Maybe we'll do it earlier.  I honestly don't plan on going anywhere tomorrow.  Maybe I'll see what the school list is and start getting some of the supplies needed for school.  I've already spent so much at Walmart in 3 days.  We've been living on frozen foods but at least it's not fast food.  Can't stand it anymore.  It's 7:50 and I'm trying to get her back on schedule.  I got her to sleep in her room last night.  Well, some of the night at least.  It's a work in progress. Hopefully, tonight she'll sleep the entire night in her room.  Fingers crossed. 

Tonight is the LIVE workshop

Get started today!  Click on the photo below to sign up and learn more about this opportunity!  

Can you say NUTS...

Seriously feeling like that lately.  Things have been so crazy here.  We have so much going on and I'm trying to stay connected to my online business.  Sometimes it's hard so I give myself some grace about it.  Not many people can handle a full-time job, side gig, my secret adventure, and still, be a full-time wife and mom.  Things are changing.  They are scary.  The time crunch is here.  With that.  Have a great night :)

Trying new things...

 So I'm trying another blog but just not feeling it.  Maybe it's everything that's going on around me that interfering with my positive energy lately.  I'm not a quitter.  It took me 19 years to finally bring home my little girl and if that's not a commitment, I don't know what is.  I've been working on my online business for a little over a year.  I have a few buyers and some buyers that were refunded.  I need to turn it around for myself.  I know this isn't the best time to worry about all this and in about a month or so, I'll be able to focus better to grow my business.  Maybe I need to give up the other blog.  I love this blog.  It's my memoir of years of struggling to bring my daughter into this world.  It's years of living with a husband only home part-time (although he's been home a really long time now and I need some serious alone time).   Here is a pic of my family and me.  

My Family

Catching up...

It's been a long time since I posted.  Lots of things have happened.  We got through the holidays with a visit to J's family.  It was really nice to see everyone on the holiday.  They gave Giuli a birthday party.  And yes, she is pretty spoiled but I'm not sorry about that.  She's now a 5-year-old and she'll be starting Kindergarten in the fall.  Crazy how 5 years have gone by so quickly.  I'm still working on my new business venture and hope and pray each day that I'm doing the right thing.  I finally got a buyer that didn't refund and seems rather excited to do this.  I think she'll do a really good job too. J is having his surgery next Tuesday.  I'm having anxiety over it.  I know it's routine but you never know what could happen.  I'm just going to keep praying about it and know that G-d is looking out for us.  We are hoping to finally get the house together, sell, and move to GA before Giuli starts school.  We'll see how it goes.  One step at a time, right? 

Medical issues....still!

J is still recovering from Covid.  Still has the A-fib.  Still scared his heart is going to just stop beating.  Last night, G was in bed and crying.  She wanted Daddy to stay with her.  She was scared because of Daddy's heart.  She was crying her eyes out and so scared.  It broke my heart to realize she was scared of what's happening to him.  I assured her that Daddy was going to be ok.  J came in and hugged her and said the same thing.  She finally went to sleep.  My poor little girl.  Too young to think of these things.  I just want to protect her from the world sometimes.  J is going to go to the Mayo Clinic and have a consult there.  I guess a second opinion would be a good idea before going through surgery on an organ you can't live without.

Medical problems...

So J spent 10 days in the hospital with Covid.  Wish they would have started some treatment but I guess suffering is what the Dr's and the state want.  He apparently went into afib a few times but they neglected to tell him about it.  When he looks back, he realizes now what happened was the afib.  But even when discharged from the hospital, it was never mentioned on the discharge papers or by any Dr or nurse.  They basically dumped him out by the ambulance bay.  And why like that is what I'd like to know.  It all seemed to be a huge stigma and punishment.  You didn't get the Covid vaccine and do as you were told to do, so now you are going to be treated like a piece of crap.  He got lectured longer about getting the vaccine than his current medical problems.  Now he has to have surgery to correct the heart problem.  So pissed about that right now.  He will be ok.  I just want our lives to go back to normal.