Jumping in with two feet...

OK.  I've done it now.  I signed the paperwork.  Purchased my product.  I'm waiting for the rest of the training to be unlocked.  Nervous but excited.  I really see the potential.  The potential to learn something new.  The potential to bring me out of my comfort zone and challenge myself.  These are things I really can't object to.  It'll help me grow as a person to do this. And who can argue with that?

Anxiety...

 Lately, I've been feeling anxious and nervous.  Our finances are not good and I'm trying to find a way out of this hole we're in.  Is there a get rich quick scheme anywhere out there?  Maybe a reputable side business that I can do online?  I've been researching.  I know J is too.  I did find something but I'm so nervous about it.  Will it pay off.  The people who have tried say yes.  But with hard work and following the training they give us.  So scared I'm making a mistake but also praying it can and will pay off.  I'm not expecting money to just roll in but I have to try, right?  What's a little more money down the drain, right?  Maybe the training will help me with other future endeavors, right?  I see the pros and I see the cons.  Scary, right?  2020 has been a hard year and I need to put it past me.  Maybe this will help my family.  All I want to do is get our debts paid down so we can move out of this frozen tundra with a little dignity.

Sick kiddos...

 One of the things I hate the most is when my little one get's sick.  It always seems to come on so quickly and takes the spark out of her.  And of course I'm always thinking the worst.  She was fine on Saturday and early Sunday (she played in the snow) then went downhill quickly.  Fevers of 101-103 Sunday to Monday.  Then she recovered on Monday afternoon.  House looked like a tornado went through it and this Mama was overwhelmed.  And of course she couldn't go back to daycare till she was 24 hours without fever.  But she is better.  A bit cranky but better and now in school so Mama can get back to work.

2021 Giuliisms

Just starting the 2021 Giuli laughables....

• J walking with a cane.  Giuli "Daddy, are you an old man?"  Daddy "Yes I am."  Then laughs.  Giuli takes cane and says "I want to be an old man". Proceeds to try and walk with the cane that is taller than her.

• In the bathroom I tell Giuli to get some toilet paper and wipe.  She grabs the toilet paper and crumbles it into a ball then puts it between her but cheeks.  "Mommy, look....I'm a bunny" and starts to hop around the bathroom"  🤣

• J is watching Sunny Bunnies with G.  One Sunny Bunny is eating a snack and offers to share with another Sunny Bunny.  G says that's nasty.  And when the virus is over, it'll still be nasty.

• We're driving in the car and a loud car goes zooming by.  G say's that scared her. "It freaked me out"  Then she says, "It scared the crap out of me"🤣

• Giuli brings her barbie doll to sit in the bed with us while she watches her nighttime show.  She says she wants her to sleep in the bed with her.  Then she says mommy said we'll see which means yes.

Planning our exit...

J and I have been working on this for quite some time.  Seems like it always takes just about forever to get from A to B these days.  With J being home since May, yep, since May we've been working on doing what we can to fix up the house and get out of this state.  I like the friends I've made and my neighbors but we need to live somewhere that the cost of living isn't so crazy.  Our property tax on our house is almost the same as our mortgage payment.  And we don't have a big house or live in the best area.  Especially when it comes to school for Giuli.  

Anyways, since J has been home and collecting unemployment (not much) I was able to get a loan from my 401K.  A big loan.  We put in a fence and updated our landscaping.  Also, replaced the counter and sinks in the bathroom.  Sinks were cracked and the counter was part of the sink.  Replaced the front door and storm doo.  Also needed to use a lot to pay bills and just live.  So now we still have to fix the roof and the front steps to finish the outside.  Then we need to replace the carpet and flooring in 2 bathrooms.  Fix walls, change out light fixtures throughout the house and throw out lots and lots of stuff.  Just writing all this out gives me such anxiety.  Especially now that most of that money is gone and I need to start paying it back out of my check.  Ouch.  Talk about stress.  Hoping it will all pay off and we can pay down some debt that we are accumulating once we sell the house and move.  Can't wait till we are out of here.

Meat Sauce....

So I have this meat sauce recipe I've used for years that I got from San Giorgio pasta. They have a lot of good ones.  In the last year, a friend mentioned to add riced cauliflower for veggies.  Seemed like a good idea. I also made an error when looking in my pantry for crushed tomatoes.  I accidently grabbed diced tomatoes which was a good accident as we like it with both crushed and now a can of diced tomatoes.   Not long after, J started saying he really didn't like the meat sauce.  Not his thing.  So on Monday, I made the meat sauce. It's been a while and my little one loves it.  I didn't put in the cauliflower.  J now likes it again. Says it tastes better.  So for those wondering if cauliflower made a difference (I didn't think it would) it does.  Now we are all happy with the meat sauce again and I can add it back to our menu of dinners.

Meat Sauce recipe if you are interested

INGREDIENTS
1 lb ground beef
1/2 cup chopped onion
1 clove garlic, minced
28 oz can crushed tomatoes
1 14 oz can of diced tomatoes
1 cup water
6 oz can tomato paste
1 tablespoon fresh parsley
2 teaspoons dried basil
1 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon ground black pepper

DIRECTIONS:

Brown ground beef in a large skillet; add onion, garlic and cook until onion is tender. Stir in crushed tomatoes, diced tomatoes, water, tomato paste, parsley, basil, salt and pepper; simmer 30 minutes.

Freedom....

 Last week was an unusual.  The Capital was attacked by rioters and it made a lot of news.  What baffles me is the "mostly peaceful protests" that happened over the course of 2020 but didn't sound as harsh by most of the media.  Does our media really have that much power?  Should they be putting in their 2 cents if there job is to report the news.  They downplayed the riots and burning of businesses.  That's not right.  But then they go out of control on the protesters by the Capital.  We all have a right to free speech but I don't feel like I can do that on social media.  Should I worry about my job because of what I believe?  I'm not a protestor or a rioter.  I'm a Woman, a Mom, a Wife, a Sister, a Daughter.  I believe in what this country's constitution says but I know that I can't say what I believe in on social media for fear of retribution from my colleagues.  That is a sad day in this country when people have fear of expressing themselves.

Taco and Quesadilla Time...

Lately, my little one asks, "what's for dinner".  I'll tell her and the next sentence is "do I eat it".  I always say yes even if it is a new dish because it's usually the same foods cooked a little different.  Either way, I'm hoping she'll try them.  Now, we had luck with tacos a few times and quesadillas.  Then all the sudden, she was in rejection mode.  I want mac and cheese.  That's her comfort food.  So I made mac and cheese because I didn't want fighting.  I made taco meat, black beans, cheese, chopped tomato and lettuce.  J wanted hard taco shells but I opted for soft.  G say the soft and suddenly wanted a quesadilla.  so I made her one with cheese.  Then she decided to add black beans, tomatoes, lettuce and meat to it.  She ate half of mac and cheese and half a quesadilla she put together.  I guess that's a win for eating.  

Tomato Basil Soup...

This is one of my favorite recipes that I got from a friend.  We don't eat it as soup though.  We use it on our pasta.  If my 4 year old eats it up then I'm thrilled.  Nowadays, she'll ask, "do I eat that".  We always say yes even if she just picks at it.  However, she does eat this one most of the time.  

Tomato & Basil Soup
Servings: 6

Ingredients
2 Tbsp. olive oil
1 cup chopped carrot(s)
1 cup chopped onion(s)
1 cup chopped celery
1 tsp. dried thyme
2 tsp. minced garlic
1 leaf bay leaf
1 28 oz can and 1 14 oz can diced tomatoes
1 3/4 cup vegetable broth
1/2 cup heavy whipping cream
4 Tbsp. chopped basil

Directions
Heat 2 tablespoons olive oil in heavy large saucepan over medium heat. Add chopped carrots, onion and celery. Sauté` until beginning to soften, about 5 minutes. Mix in thyme, garlic and bay leaf. Add all canned tomatoes with their juices and vegetable stock. Simmer about 20 minutes. Add whipping cream; simmer 5 minutes. Mix in 4 tablespoons chopped fresh basil. Remove bay leaf. Working in batches, puree soup in blender. (Definitely small batches unless you are ok with it on your ceiling) Transfer to large saucepan. Season soup with salt and pepper. Serve over pasta or as a soup.

New year, new me....

 No doubt in anyone's mind, 2020 was not a good year.  Things changed and hoping it's not forever.  I would love to visit my family in the summer but not if it's still like this and if it is, probably won't go back to NY unless I have to.  I don't like the idea of living in a police state.  That is not American to me. 

On another note, I will try my hardest to improve my diet.  I noticed that when I eat my weight in sugar cookies, I don't feel that great.  Glad to say the sugar cookies are now gone and I'm quitting it cold turkey.  Just going to be mindful of what I put in my mouth so no big plans.  Just tracking and being mindful.  Drinking more water, less sugar.  

It's nice to get back to normal (haha).  At least what I've been used to the last 9 months.  In my office at home, working at my desk.    Setting my meal plans so we have things to eat at dinner other than fast food.  I guess that's one thing that WFH has helped with.  Making better dinners for us.  I refuse to go back to eating on the fly.  This is working out so much better for us.

4 Years Old already.....

Time has really flown by.  Just yesterday I was arguing with J about driving to the hospital to deliver this precious gift from God.  And now, she's a  beautiful,  strong willed, loving but devious little lady.  Each day is a gift with her.  All I can do now is pray that I raise her right.  Teach her to be thoughtful and caring.  Teach her to look out for others when they need it.  To share with others.  She is a bit hyperactive and sensitive to foods that may cause hyperactivity and aggression.  We've noticed it a lot when she eats foods with dyes.  Trying to eliminate that.  This week has been hard.  But I love spending time with her.  Wish I was a bit younger and had more energy.  Need to up the exercise so I can keep up with her more.  But I don't let it stop me from being with her.  No one knows better than I how much she's wanted and loved.  I prayed for her for years.  Had lost so much.  I remember I was scared that when I did get pregnant, I wouldn't know what to do.  I was so wrong.  I will always remember the struggle but it was all worth it in the end.

It's always ok in the end.  If it's not ok, then it's not the end.  

I guess I'm saying that it's ok now.  Our journey to three is now complete.  I wish I could have another but it's not in the cards for us.  

That's the good part of this post.  Here's the other half.  2020 has been the hardest year of my life.  We're surviving.  I'm not sure how sometimes but we are.  I have learned to adapt.  I will say, I'm grateful, G went back to school in June.  I wasn't doing very well at that point.  Working with a 3 year old who was crying and wanting someone to play with her was hard to deal with.  Unfortunately, the tablet became her friend more than I would have liked.  G was showing signs of depression and it made me sad.  I know people say kids are resilient but I don't want the world to shut down and see her spiral down like that.  Also, J has been home since May but hasn't been very helpful when it comes to cooking, cleaning or caring for G.  Maybe it's a bit of depression.  But it's been hard.  I've found ways to come up with meals to cook easily.  Crock pot meals are the easiest and I go for easy.  At this point, I'll be working from home till at least the summer.  I'm hoping it's for good.  Hoping we can finish cleaning up the house, sell and move south for good.  I truly hate living here and feel like it will be restrictive like for good.  Politicians got a taste of power and now they just abuse it.  J was in 7-11 and his mask was below his nose.  The management didn't say anything but some crazy woman started yelling at him and chasing him down.  Started taking pictures of him and his car while he was driving.  What the heck was that.  If the store didn't care, why was she getting so close and invading his space.  What right did she have to do that.  I'm sure she called the police but really, what are they going to do.  7-11 wasn't her store and J has rights.  

Here's to a happy new year 2021.....BYE BYE 2020.  YOU SUCKED!

Giuliana Quotes 2019/2020 - Things I want to remember...

 I want to remember them so here they are.

Giuliana Quotes 2019/2020

The Year of 2020

2020 started off great.  Then it all got weird.  I packed up my office at work on March 20th thinking I'd be home for a few weeks.  Then a week later my daughter was home as well.  Work became a blur, while I worked from the kitchen table and tried to manage my 3 year old that didn't understand why she was not going back to school to see her beloved teacher and friends.  My potty trained little girl suddenly started having accidents.  Stopped taking naps, took walks with me only for her to say, "Mommy, I just want to go home"  She only had us and no one to play with.  I was working all day as best I could while trying to watch her and keep her entertained.  She got a climber with a slide, a new playhouse, bike, skates.  Anything we could do to keep her busy since the parks were closed and no kids were around to play with.  When daycare started up again, Giuli was excited to go back.  Although it wasn't allowed the kids hugged in delight.  Seems crazy to tell kids one minute to be affectionate and the next, not to go near each other.  Finally the parks re-opened and Giuli was back at playing with kids she'd meet in the park.  One man brought his daughter to the park and then tells me "Social distance please"  since my 3 year old wanted to play with his daughter.  My feeling is that if you are that worried, don't go to the park where there are little children. I'm not going to restrain my daughter and keep her away from other kids.  Restrain yourself and stay home.    Now we are coming to the end of the year, and I'm still WFH.  Giuli is still in daycare, and J is still home driving me nuts.  I think he'll be home till the end of the year.  

Some pics of my grown up little one.

Ready for school

Matching nightie's

Waiting for the Dr.

Chillin till we leave for school!

I'm just soooo cool!

I just love summer!

2020....

Happy New Year!  I'm starting the year off with a threenager.  I didn't know what that was till now.  Someone is mostly potty trained now.  Will poop in the potty at daycare but not at home.  At home she begs for her diaper to poop into.  She's starting to sleep in her underwear with no accident as of yet, but still won't poop in the potty.  Anyway, tantrums are worse than ever but attempting to just ignore her and let her scream.  But boy can she carry on forever.  She is so STRONG WILLED.  Just want to get back to our normal routine.  Back with the people she loves and misses.  I'll even be glad to go back to work.