Doing things for me...

I've decided to try to make some changes in my life.  I've been struggling so much lately.  I'm still saving or trying to save for our next cycle but I also want to do things for myself too.  J and I finally visited his family in VA.  We used J's non-rev benefits to travel.  We were going to go from ORD-DTW-RIC. Seems simple enough.  Then the day before J said everything was overbooked so we decided to from ORD-CVG-RIC.  It left later in the day so we didn't have to leave till around 9AM.  Then in the morning, everything again was overbooked.  J was ready to cancel but I guess I looked very disappointed so he came up with another idea.  Drive to SBN then fly to DTW-RIC.  Well we got to DTW and RIC had only one seat and the passenger showed up for it at the last minute.  So we went to CVG then to RIC.  Took us 12 hours to get there.  I guess that's the life of a non-rev.  I think for my nephews wedding, we'll just get tickets.  I want to make sure we get there.  Anyway, it was so nice to see everyone and we got to meet J's new sister-in-law.  They will be married a year this coming Memorial Day weekend.  We wound up coming home earlier than we originally wanted.  We went from RIC-ATL-SBN.  This time everything went smoothly. Once we got home, we went to pick up a new cat from a co-worker.  She couldn't handle the kitty.  He's young and playful and needs to be played with more than she was doing.  The result was that he would try to instigate attention by biting and jumping on her and biting.  She was a bit scared so we took him.  She named him Dude but J calls him Roscoe.  He's a dead ringer for your Yeager. Just not the same temperament.  Kind of reminds me of that movie Pet Cemetery.  Anyway, we've been working on getting all the kitties together but this new one is way too scared right now.  Hopefully in a few weeks we'll have some harmony...at least I hope so. 

Other than that, I've been looking forward to getting this thyroid issue under control.  Appointment is coming up this week.  I've also finally booked a trip to visit my friend in Florida.  I've been wanting to go but money issues have stopped me over and over again.  I'm super excited to see her.  She has a massage booked, a boat ride and an afternoon at the ballet. I just so excited. 

Feeling a bit sad today...

J left for a trip today and won't be back till Wed.  I don't know why but I'm feeling a bit down right now.  I'm having a thyroid uptake scan this week and that is also making me anxious.  The thyroid symptoms have also been making me feel off lately.  I'm always hungry, overheated and fatigued. I'm also having some insomnia.  J has been needing our savings fund for his project and that's part of why I'm feeling down.  He promised to pay it all back to me but I'm worried he won't be able to.  He signed a lease for this place for 6 months, then he freaked out and didn't do anything.  Now I'm freaking out.  It's almost April and I have nothing saved.  NOTHING.  I wanted at least 10K by next January and we have NOTHING.  I feel like my life is nothing but hardship lately.  J needs a loan so he can get those cars sold.  So that is what we are doing next.  We'll see how that goes next week.  I'm not crazy about the loan company but we are still credit challenged folks.  I just need to have faith that things will work out for us and that J will put the money back into our savings.

Testiness and anxiety...

Well for the last few weeks, J has been telling me that I am appearing agitated.  He said it's usually him and I usually keep him calm but I'm not doing that right now.  I guess I've been feeling agitated lately.  I think it may be related to my overactive thyroid.  Every once in a while I feel my heart beating really fast and this weekend I ate like it was my last meal on earth.  As a result of my crazy eating my blood sugars have been really high.  They've been high for the last few weeks but today was awful .  My app with the new doctor is next week so hopefully I can get answers and treatment that will fix this quickly.   I just don't want to go on meds for the diabetes but I'm afraid that's coming.  My A1C is still 5.4 so we'll see what she says.  I don't like feeling so fatigued but when your BS goes really high then drops it causes sleepiness.  I just need to continue my efforts with the gym.  I took a week off to recuperate from my nasty cold but now I have no excuses.  The cold is gone so now I have to start going again. 

Crazy week...

Last week was a bit crazy.  I had a headache from Mon-Thurs.  So I went to the Dr on Thursday.  I've been having these migraines since my last cycle and J has wanted me to get them checked out.  I'm pretty sure it's hormone related and my Dr pretty much said it could be too.  She didn't see anything that would indicate a brain issue so she gave me a prescription for migraines.  She also had me get a blood test to make sure my blood sugar wasn't out of control.  Anyway, I got a call the next day and the nurse said I needed to get another blood test to test my thyroid and that I needed to get an ultrasound of my thyroid.  I'm trying hard not to worry.  I don't know what exactly my thyroid numbers need to be and I'm not sure what they even were.  I guess I'll find out more tomorrow.  Now I have a whopper of a cold and feel like crap.  Hope this week isn't as crazy as last week.  

Paranoia???

On Feb 13th it will be my 7 year anniversary at my company.  This last year feels like I'm back in High School.  I feel like some of my co-workers talk behind my back.  IM about me.  It really makes a person feel like crap when that goes on and I'm not sure what to do about it except keep my distance.  Could it be that I'm just paranoid?  I tend to believe that if you feel like people are talking about you behind your back you probably aren't wrong.  I need things to change at work.  Maybe I should just eat at my desk from now on.  Stay away from the culprits.  Even some co-workers that I had thought were my friends but certainly don't act like it.  I guess it's best to just go to work, do my job, go home.  Keep it professional.  Today, I'm feeling emotional and fragile.  I just hope tomorrow is a better day.

Getting back to normal...

Well the day has finally come.  J has gone back to work.  He's been home since Dec 31st and I have to say I'm glad he's gone.  Don't get me wrong, I love having J home but things need to get back to normal.  I know I'll miss having a wonderful home cooked meal every night.  It was almost always ready for me when I got home from work.  I was actually shocked that we ate at home almost every night.  It was nice.  It feels weird tonight too.  I feel like I'm waiting for him to come upstairs but we've already said goodnight to each other on the phone so I know I won't hear from him till tomorrow.  The cats are also acting different tonight.  Amelia knows he's gone.  She didn't eat her dinner tonight but she'll be back to normal tomorrow.  Even though, with all that I'll be missing, it's still nice to have my alone time back again.  :)