Sunday, October 5, 2014

Summer Blur....

It's been awhile since I posted anything.  I've been battling a lot of medical issues this summer so posting wasn't a priority.  My blood sugar started to go up, up and up.  Turns out that I have Type 1.5 or LADA.  Latent Autoimmune Diabetes for Adults.  I was originally diagnosed with Type 2 back in 2011.  Watching my blood sugar go up made me feel like I was doing something wrong.  I wasn't exercising as much as the doctors had said but my A1C was 5.5 at the beginning of this year without medications.  Just diet and exercise.  So why suddenly was everything changing.  I'm not obese.  I watch what I eat.  I measure my food so I don't eat too much (carbs especially).

I'm glad I found out what's wrong but it's a huge change that will be difficult to adjust to.  I won't just take insulin till I'm better, I'll be taking it for the rest of my life.  I'm also struggling with symptoms of fatigue.  I don't just feel a little tired.  It's an "I can't see straight fatigue and I need to sleep, sleep, sleep but I can't because I'm in a meeting at work or I'm driving somewhere or " and it happens every day many times during the day.  I try to walk around the building at lunch as many days during the week that I can.  Once the weather gets colder, it will be too cold to do that.  With exercising and counting my carbs, you'd think I'd have it under better control but it's not.  I'm currently going through diabetes education to learn as much as I can.  I have to get this under control because I still plan to move forward with our fertility plan and my doctor said it's not safe for me to be pregnant right now.  Not for a growing fetus.  Luckily my A1C isn't too high so I'm hoping with medication it will be down within 3 months to safer levels.  My fasting blood sugar has gotten much better. Now I just need to get my after meal numbers down.  Tracking food, carbs, taking blood sugars, exercise, how I feel all day, taking blood sugars, injecting insulin, checking blood sugars (did I say that already)  is hard on a person. It's day after day after day and it will never change for me.  I'm trying to accept all of this.  I want to be a mother so badly that getting this under control is all I think about so I'm willing to do just about anything. 

Monday, June 23, 2014

Trying to have faith...

I've gone over and over the finances and just don't see us doing any more treatments till later in the year.  Maybe even the beginning of the new year.  I'm saving money just not enough to do this treatment now.  And now is when I want to do it.  But knowing that there is a plan in place is helping me get through this time.  I have faith that it will all unfold as it should be.  I feel some responsibility in helping it along, but I know J and I are good people and I've lived, we've lived honest lives together.  Nothing is ever perfect but I've seen less perfect have families too.  I don't even want perfect.  I want a little one or two to love and love me back.  I want to be called Mom.  I see all these other women like me and their dreams come true and I know ours will too. 

Till we try again...

Lilypie Trying to Conceive Event tickers

Weight Loss Progress