Better times coming....

Things have greatly improved with J and me.  I'm finally seeing the man I married again and I'm so happy.  I'm also hoping we can apply for a fertility loan in April/May.  I've been tracking our finances and credit report and things are starting to look up with that.  I really want to get this show on the road already.  I've been patient but now it's time for action.  The loan amount will determine when we move forward.  I'm really hoping to afford the money back program.  I just don't want to throw money away on this and I'm still concerned about J's sperm.  This program will give us the best odds of giving us our "take home baby". Springtime here we come. :)

Two steps forward, three steps back...

I feel like that's the story of my life for the past 5 years.  Finally got the credit cards down and our Nissan needed work.  It was necessary and in the end I'm grateful we had credit available to take care of it.  I wasn't prepared for a $1000 worth of fixes.  Car had a sensor that went bad and needed to be replaced.  In addition to that it desperately needed brakes and tires.  J has been driving that car to Detroit when it's not possible to fly and he needed to leave today.  He would normally just change the brakes himself but the weather has been crappy all week long and doesn't look like it will get better in the next week either.  Plus, I really think Firestone gave a good deal overall and now J is driving and I feel he is safe. I remember a time when maintaining a car was impossible for us.  We didn't have enough money or credit to pay for anything other than gas, food and whatever bills we had.  I remember this lady I worked with saying, that it cost more to fix later if a tire blows or brakes fail but that doesn't make money magically appear to fix what's broke.  I truly despised her for saying that to me.  I guess it's because she didn't really understand what we were going through.  For three years we struggled paycheck to paycheck, never knowing what was going to go wrong with the car or the house.  I remember when our sump pump failed.  I was fortunate that my paycheck was actually available that Saturday even though payday was Monday.  And even more fortunate that I was able to get a friends husband to put it in for me.  J was away and our basement was flooding.  Those days are gone now and I'm grateful.  I think we stand a good chance at getting a fertility loan but I don't want to jump the gun and wind up not getting one.  Patience, patience, patience.  

Homeowner or just a renter...

Well something strange has happened in the last few days. J and I have gone through lots of financial hardship starting back in 2006.  By 2008 we had no choice but to file bankruptcy.  It was clear that we wouldn't be able to pay our credit cards no matter how hard we tried to come up with a way.  Thank you aviation and the wonderful starting pays.  We found a lawyer, got money from my parents and proceeded to file the necessary paperwork.  We signed re-affirmations for our car and the house mortgages. I'll admit that so much was going on that we couldn't keep track of everything.  I had hoped the lawyer would be on top of all that but I guess not.  We received the re-affirmation document for our car but we hadn't thought about the mortgages.  Apparently they got lost at the mortgage companies and were never returned to our lawyers office before our debt was dismissed.  We continued to pay but we had more problems and needed to do a loan modification to help us out for the 1st year.  We found out that since both mortgages were dismissed, which only means we get no credit on our credit history for having a mortgage, but doesn't change the fact that they still have a lien on the house.  We were successful in getting the 1st mortgage modified.  We stopped paying the second mortgage since they couldn't foreclose anyway and we were in the hole 100K anyway.  We figured we would pay our 1st mortgage till we were ready to move on and just give the keys back to the bank.  Well a few days ago we got a UPS package from our 2nd mortgage and the letter said they were releasing the lien on our house due to some state and federal government settlement.  They have been trying to reach us for a few months now and we just avoided the calls.  I kept thinking that J would call and say "early April Fools" or it was in the UPS package and he missed it.  But he didn't and it looks real.  Now I feel like this is our house again.  We haven't done much with it but this changes everything. We're not just renters were homeowners again.  At least that's how it feels.  It all seems so unreal right now.