Follow up ultrasound results....

I was able to get in to the monitoring clinic at noon last Tuesday.  I was having so much anxiety and fear going in.  I was so afraid of seeing my baby had died after having such a wonderful ultrasound prior to the long weekend.  But my little sticky bun was still going strong.  In just 4 days, baby was bigger and heart rate was faster.  Both J and I were so relieved.  And as of now, I have no more bleeding or spotting.  The tech did say she could see the area of blood in question.  She also mentioned that a lot of women that go through IVF, bleeding seems to happen.  I'm feeling better but I can't help but think that every ultrasound will be a milestone to the next step and I'll always feel a little fear.  Maybe it's PTSD.  So much has gone wrong that it's so hard to imagine that it can all go alright.  I have my first OB appointment coming up on Wednesday.  Right now I'm feeling okay but I'm expecting to get anxious as the appointment gets closer.  Deep breath in and out.  

Ultrasounds and nightmares....

I had my 6 week 2 day ultrasound.  I was so terrified but she found the sac and baby right away.  Then we got to see the flicker of the heart.  It was so surreal and magical.  I had tears of joy coming down my face.  Baby measured 6 weeks so right on target.

We were so ecstatic.  We crossed the first hurdle and we saw our baby with a good strong heartbeat.  I wound up taking a 2 1/2 hour nap.  We had dinner and when I went to the bathroom I noticed a little blood on the toilet paper.  I was worried.  Then in the middle of the night, more blood.  Almost morning and the toilet was full of blood.  Now I'm scared.  I called my RE at 4:45 AM.  The on call Dr said to drink water and lay down and relax.  She'll follow up with the on call nurse in the morning.  I had an eye Dr app and so we went to that.  While I was there I passed a huge clot.  Now I'm thinking the worst.  The nurse called me back and she said lots of women call with bleeding and it's usually all okay.  She told me what an emergency would be and to go to an ER in that scenario but she mentioned subchorionic hematoma that was basically a bleed not relevant to the pregnancy.  She went through all the possibilities with me.  I don't have any real cramping.  And after that huge clot the bleeding seemed to have slowed down.  Now I just have spotting when I wipe.  Maybe it will be okay after all. I'm hoping to see my OB this week if possible.  Praying for good news.