Cleaning up....

So I'm more motivated than ever to get out of this house.  I want G and us to live a normal life and I don't think that will ever happen in this state.  The leadership here feels mighty powerful and doesn't want to let that power go.  So we need to move to a place that G can meet and have friends over.  Go to school full time.  Have after school functions in person.  Places like that exist but not here so much.  Any excuse to shut it down, happens.  Last year was hard.  But now we are in a groove and I want out before they get another excuse to shut it down.  

This month, I'm working on the office.  I'm getting rid of G's current bed and replacing it with the daybed in the office.  It'll look much nicer than what she has right now.  Then it'll also be easier to start packing up things and throwing things out.  Just taking baby steps to get there.  Once this room is done, I think it'll be easier to do the rest.  

Changes....

2020 was one year for the records.  So much happened.   It'll be a year on March 23rd that I started WFH.  A week later my daughters daycare closed down.  I had to figure out how to work from home and take care of a toddler that didn't understand why she was home from daycare.   I really don't remember much from those 2 months except the drink I had to unwind every night.  But we made it through and Giuli returned to daycare in June.  Next issue was dinners.  We were eating junk food all the time and I knew we needed to stop that.  I started planning our meals out each week.  Made tomato basil and meat sauce on a  regular basis and try to keep jars in the freezer for meals.  Found easy recipes we love through website searches.  I'm making a new recipe book so we can easily have them on hand when we want them.  I try to plan for the following week by the weekend so I can stock up on what's needed and plan according.  All this has helped with our eating budgets.  We get at least 2 meals out of every one that I cook.  No 2020 was a hard year but it forced me to change.  I think these changes are for the better.  Makes me a better person and a mom.  

Jumping in with two feet...

OK.  I've done it now.  I signed the paperwork.  Purchased my product.  I'm waiting for the rest of the training to be unlocked.  Nervous but excited.  I really see the potential.  The potential to learn something new.  The potential to bring me out of my comfort zone and challenge myself.  These are things I really can't object to.  It'll help me grow as a person to do this. And who can argue with that?

Anxiety...

 Lately, I've been feeling anxious and nervous.  Our finances are not good and I'm trying to find a way out of this hole we're in.  Is there a get rich quick scheme anywhere out there?  Maybe a reputable side business that I can do online?  I've been researching.  I know J is too.  I did find something but I'm so nervous about it.  Will it pay off.  The people who have tried say yes.  But with hard work and following the training they give us.  So scared I'm making a mistake but also praying it can and will pay off.  I'm not expecting money to just roll in but I have to try, right?  What's a little more money down the drain, right?  Maybe the training will help me with other future endeavors, right?  I see the pros and I see the cons.  Scary, right?  2020 has been a hard year and I need to put it past me.  Maybe this will help my family.  All I want to do is get our debts paid down so we can move out of this frozen tundra with a little dignity.

Sick kiddos...

 One of the things I hate the most is when my little one get's sick.  It always seems to come on so quickly and takes the spark out of her.  And of course I'm always thinking the worst.  She was fine on Saturday and early Sunday (she played in the snow) then went downhill quickly.  Fevers of 101-103 Sunday to Monday.  Then she recovered on Monday afternoon.  House looked like a tornado went through it and this Mama was overwhelmed.  And of course she couldn't go back to daycare till she was 24 hours without fever.  But she is better.  A bit cranky but better and now in school so Mama can get back to work.

2021 Giuliisms

Just starting the 2021 Giuli laughables....

• J walking with a cane.  Giuli "Daddy, are you an old man?"  Daddy "Yes I am."  Then laughs.  Giuli takes cane and says "I want to be an old man". Proceeds to try and walk with the cane that is taller than her.

• In the bathroom I tell Giuli to get some toilet paper and wipe.  She grabs the toilet paper and crumbles it into a ball then puts it between her but cheeks.  "Mommy, look....I'm a bunny" and starts to hop around the bathroom"  🤣

• J is watching Sunny Bunnies with G.  One Sunny Bunny is eating a snack and offers to share with another Sunny Bunny.  G says that's nasty.  And when the virus is over, it'll still be nasty.

• We're driving in the car and a loud car goes zooming by.  G say's that scared her. "It freaked me out"  Then she says, "It scared the crap out of me"🤣

• Giuli brings her barbie doll to sit in the bed with us while she watches her nighttime show.  She says she wants her to sleep in the bed with her.  Then she says mommy said we'll see which means yes.

Planning our exit...

J and I have been working on this for quite some time.  Seems like it always takes just about forever to get from A to B these days.  With J being home since May, yep, since May we've been working on doing what we can to fix up the house and get out of this state.  I like the friends I've made and my neighbors but we need to live somewhere that the cost of living isn't so crazy.  Our property tax on our house is almost the same as our mortgage payment.  And we don't have a big house or live in the best area.  Especially when it comes to school for Giuli.  

Anyways, since J has been home and collecting unemployment (not much) I was able to get a loan from my 401K.  A big loan.  We put in a fence and updated our landscaping.  Also, replaced the counter and sinks in the bathroom.  Sinks were cracked and the counter was part of the sink.  Replaced the front door and storm doo.  Also needed to use a lot to pay bills and just live.  So now we still have to fix the roof and the front steps to finish the outside.  Then we need to replace the carpet and flooring in 2 bathrooms.  Fix walls, change out light fixtures throughout the house and throw out lots and lots of stuff.  Just writing all this out gives me such anxiety.  Especially now that most of that money is gone and I need to start paying it back out of my check.  Ouch.  Talk about stress.  Hoping it will all pay off and we can pay down some debt that we are accumulating once we sell the house and move.  Can't wait till we are out of here.

Meat Sauce....

So I have this meat sauce recipe I've used for years that I got from San Giorgio pasta. They have a lot of good ones.  In the last year, a friend mentioned to add riced cauliflower for veggies.  Seemed like a good idea. I also made an error when looking in my pantry for crushed tomatoes.  I accidently grabbed diced tomatoes which was a good accident as we like it with both crushed and now a can of diced tomatoes.   Not long after, J started saying he really didn't like the meat sauce.  Not his thing.  So on Monday, I made the meat sauce. It's been a while and my little one loves it.  I didn't put in the cauliflower.  J now likes it again. Says it tastes better.  So for those wondering if cauliflower made a difference (I didn't think it would) it does.  Now we are all happy with the meat sauce again and I can add it back to our menu of dinners.

Meat Sauce recipe if you are interested

INGREDIENTS
1 lb ground beef
1/2 cup chopped onion
1 clove garlic, minced
28 oz can crushed tomatoes
1 14 oz can of diced tomatoes
1 cup water
6 oz can tomato paste
1 tablespoon fresh parsley
2 teaspoons dried basil
1 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon ground black pepper

DIRECTIONS:

Brown ground beef in a large skillet; add onion, garlic and cook until onion is tender. Stir in crushed tomatoes, diced tomatoes, water, tomato paste, parsley, basil, salt and pepper; simmer 30 minutes.

Freedom....

 Last week was an unusual.  The Capital was attacked by rioters and it made a lot of news.  What baffles me is the "mostly peaceful protests" that happened over the course of 2020 but didn't sound as harsh by most of the media.  Does our media really have that much power?  Should they be putting in their 2 cents if there job is to report the news.  They downplayed the riots and burning of businesses.  That's not right.  But then they go out of control on the protesters by the Capital.  We all have a right to free speech but I don't feel like I can do that on social media.  Should I worry about my job because of what I believe?  I'm not a protestor or a rioter.  I'm a Woman, a Mom, a Wife, a Sister, a Daughter.  I believe in what this country's constitution says but I know that I can't say what I believe in on social media for fear of retribution from my colleagues.  That is a sad day in this country when people have fear of expressing themselves.

Taco and Quesadilla Time...

Lately, my little one asks, "what's for dinner".  I'll tell her and the next sentence is "do I eat it".  I always say yes even if it is a new dish because it's usually the same foods cooked a little different.  Either way, I'm hoping she'll try them.  Now, we had luck with tacos a few times and quesadillas.  Then all the sudden, she was in rejection mode.  I want mac and cheese.  That's her comfort food.  So I made mac and cheese because I didn't want fighting.  I made taco meat, black beans, cheese, chopped tomato and lettuce.  J wanted hard taco shells but I opted for soft.  G say the soft and suddenly wanted a quesadilla.  so I made her one with cheese.  Then she decided to add black beans, tomatoes, lettuce and meat to it.  She ate half of mac and cheese and half a quesadilla she put together.  I guess that's a win for eating.