WTF appointment coming up....

It's been a tough week but I managed to get through it.  I emailed my nurse on Monday with a list of questions.  She said she wanted to make us an appointment to talk to the Dr and she'd give him the questions.  So by Tuesday I had a confirmed phone call appt for next Monday but to my surprise the Dr called me at work that day.  He wanted to say how sorry he was that it turned out neg and kept saying that I didn't do anything wrong and nothing is wrong with me or J.  I wish I could have talked freely but words like sperm and donor eggs catch the attention of my co-workers.  I'm not sure my Dr understood my discomfort at talking to him at that moment.  Plus, I've been a bit emotional about it.  I'm not an open book at work about my fertility issues.  Anyway, it was really nice of him to call and say that.  I just cringe thinking of the money we need to come up with if we do this again.  We are going to keep trying, but it looks like it will take at least another year to save up enough money to do it.  I think J was really excited about it this time too.  He told his Dad about it and seemed to be as disappointed as me.  Well, maybe not as much as me.  Hormones.  I wonder if he was more disappointed this time since he was more involved.  He was in the room with me during the transfer this time.  I also think we were both thinking this was the magic bullet and I would be pregnant.  Anyway, we'll talk to the Dr on Monday and see what he says. 

Progress...

Well, my donor has gone through retrieval and I have 8 mature eggs frozen.  I'm starting to feel hopeful and excited that this is really going to happen but I'm still cautiously optimistic.  I still have so many worries.  For one thing, I found out my pap smear was abnormal so I need to have that checked out.  Then, I worry about having enough money saved for our plans in October, J getting the time off he needs to go to SC, the eggs surviving the thaw, then fertilizing, making it day 3 or 5, etc.  I know I have 2 months before I start meds so I have a plan to help the time go by faster.  For one thing, I need to get back in the swing of things with my health.  Lately, I've haven't been watching my carbs as well as I did before and I've noticed the difference in tracking my BS.  I've also noticed much more fatigue which is a sign of high BS.  I need to keep track and start going back to the gym.  It would be great if I could lose 5 more lbs before I start meds.  I know I can do it.  Anyway, I just need to get back on track with sparkpeople.  My favorite weight loss tool.

Financing for the BIG DAY.....

Ok.  So I spoke with the NC center this week.  I gave them our new insurance information and talked to the financial counselor about some things.  She believes some of the testing and blood tests, ultrasounds will have some coverage.  We went over some costs as well so we know what we need to have for the consult.  I'm feeling much better now about costs.  She thinks I'm overestimating the final costs.  She also recommended to go ahead and get the financing we will need.  So, I went ahead and called one of the loan financing companies they work with.  They said they work with people who have had bankrupctyall you need is to be out of bankruptcy for 3 years and have re-established credit.  I felt confident applying so imagine my surprise when an email came back within 10 minutes turning me down.  I called them up to see if a smaller amount would be more doable and they said I wouldn't qualify for anything because of my credit.  Basically, it's not re-established to their satifaction.  As you can imagine, I almost lost it.  We've worked so hard to re-establish credit the last 3 years.  Recovering from bankruptcy is brutal.  The first year we struggled and any car breakdown, major house issue can be devastating.  But we got through it and now we're on the other side so I thought.  Anyway, luckily I tried the other company and we were approved right away.  What really pissed me off was that the other company specifically said they work with credit challenged people and the truth is that they don't.  But now, I don't care because we are now set with what we'll need for our cycle.  Another big obstable is now out of the way.