Tired of being worried all the time...

Yes, I worry a lot these days.  Money is the big issue.  Will we make it till J gets back to work?  I don't know anymore.  I want to see if we can skip any payments but J keeps saying they'll cut us off on credit.  Well, let's be real, when we don't pay and our accounts are overdrawn, then what, they'll just ignore the missing payments and let us use our open credit.  NOT.  But what do I know.  I'm just a full time employee and mom of a seven year old and have struggled for years to pay down our debt only to wind up in the same situation.  I've cashed in all the savings, investments and 401K money I can scrounge up to pay.  It's not looking pretty anymore.  I worry that when J goes back to work, he'll just spend like even more as if we don't have debt to pay back.  It has to stop.  At this point, I'll be working till I die.  

My other worry is my daughter.  J has ideas on giving money rewards and I want to change that.  I suggested it and he said he agreed, then a couple of weeks later he said he wants to give her money rewards.  I think she should have an allowance.  No strings attached allowance.  Good behavior shouldn't be rewarded with cash.  She just needs to have good behavior.  

That's my rant of the day.  Thanks for listening.

Praying for change in 2024

2023 was a hard year.  We had G evaluated and found out she has Level 1 Autism.  A lot makes sense now but still dealing with her being so difficult with lots of big emotions and no way to handle it.  Hoping for help from Autism Learning Centers but we'll see.  I'm not impressed with the speed they want you to take but not them.  We've called and had our paperwork done and now waiting again till they are ready to call us.  This started at the end of November so you can see why I'm frustrated.  And right now, I'm ready to go out with G for the afternoon but she's just whining.  I can't do this or that.  I can't brush my teeth, I can't walk, I can only whine very loudly.  I love my girl but this part of her is hard.  She doesn't say what's wrong.  Just gets mad and actsw out.  Doesn't say something happened or what's making her upset even if she knows why.  ON PAUSE

I'm back.  She's now having hot cocoa and watching her tablet.  She's still a mess but happier.  I on the other hand have fear and worry in the next month.  I don't know how I'll pay our bills.  I just don't know anymore.  Jim keeps saying wait.  Always has regret about something.  I should have done this instead of that.  I should have done that instead of this.  Never happy with decisions.  My bank accounts have been drained and I'm thinking I need to get a part time job.  He won't do it.  I'm the one who will have to work and work and work and take care of G and clean the house and run around while he takes care of himself.  I've never seen anyone in my life procrastinate as much as he does.  I'm stressed about this, about that, etc.  I'm just so fed up with it all.  And super tired today.  Low energy.  

Maybe, just maybe, I need to take care of myself for once.  

HAPPY 2024.  PRAYING FOR PEACE, LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE