Feeling Down...

I'm usually okay with being alone on holidays.  I'm used to it.  But today I've felt especially sad and lonely.  I'm just not sure why this time I feel this way.  J asked me if I wanted to with him to CHS and eat with him at Waffle House.  Except he asked me on Tuesday and I would have had to leave on Wed after my RE appointment.  Plus, we don't have any extra money and I would have to put the charges for parking on the credit card.  And the cats need meds twice a day.  It just seemed like too much to figure out on such short notice.  I am thinking about it for New Years though.  That might be more doable although I am still worried about the airport screening.  It would be nice to be with him even if it is a quick trip. Maybe that's what I need right now.  A trip with my husband.  The winters here are so awful.  Last year was one of the worst for us.  I had to work crazy hours during bad winter conditions in a car that has bad tires and temperamental 4 wheel drive. I couldn't even consider going anywhere with him.  We had absolutely no extra money.  But things are looking better these days with money.  We aren't feeling the same worry.  Plus, we did have a small victory.  We were able to pay off the "loan shark loan".  It felt great to be done with them.   That's an extra 355 per month in our pocket and I have a plan to get us saving.  We'll need to.  1st, we have to take care of the other loan against our home.  Then we will need to have funds available for when we have a baby.  I'm hoping by the end of next year we'll have a little one in the house with us.  I'm praying that all goes well in January.