Crazy moments with my daughter...

So this past weekend, G and I went to the pool.  I love taking her there.  The temps are really hot and I thought it was all going ok.  G got sick in the car on Thursday last week so J and I worked to get the smell out and clean it up. It still needs a really good cleaning but it smells ok.  So fast foward to Saturday.  We went to the pool and G and I were leaving.  Somewhere, somehow, she put goldfish in the cap of her water bottle.  I'm not sure why.  But she opened it all the crumbs came out and I lost my cool.  I asked her why she did that instead of just taking the bag of goldfish.  I told her she can't eat in the car if she's going always make a mess that others clean up.  Anyway, she then threw her water thermos.  I drove home angry.  I got out of the car to go to the front door and open the garage from inside (remote wasn't working). I came out and she was stomping on my phone in the grass saying I locked her in the car and closed the garage.  She went into the house and J followed her.  She hugged him and he came out.  It was then that I realized the windshield was cracked.  Huge crack and it'll cost us 500 to fix.  He went back inside and said, you broke the windshield.  She then kept stomping on his feet to hurt him.  Then went back outside to continue to stomp on my phone.  She was out of control.  Was it hunger, was it the heat, was it exhaustion?  I don't know.  She's seeing a therapist as I write this.  I hope she can help.  We need help parenting her.  The rest of the weekend was glorious.  She becomes really scary when she acts like that so something isn't right with her. I hope this therapist can help.

Struggles...

I love J but he doesn't always realize he's doing damage to our daughter.  He keeps commenting that he doesn't know how long he'll live like this.  She hears this and I can only imagine whats going on her brain.  She's been super clingy too. I want Daddy, running into Daddy's room, I need Daddy.  It's been over and over again and he says something not right with her.  I want to say, it's you.  You keep telling her it's over for you and you are not going to live much longer.  Every car ride you talk about it with me in the front and her in the back and she hears it.  I say stop.  I don't respond to it anymore.  If I say don't say that, he gets mad and loses it.  It scares me as well.  I'm not immune to his impending death.  I think if keep saying it over and over, eventually you'll accomplish the goal of dying.  Always so negative.  I want my little girl to be ok but he scares me.  And I'm at a loss at how to get him to stop.

So far so good...

This has been G's first week at the new daycare.  So far we like what we see in the place.  The person who runs it, has a child with ADHD and understands all too well.  She's a published author on a childrens book about ADHD.  It's on my list to order.  It's called "My Running Mind" and I'm purchasing it on Amazon.  If anyone is interested in it, I've linked it to the amazon page.  They seem chaotic but yet have total control over the children.  G has been having issues and we've been seeing her in the zone lately.  But they handled it so well.  So much better than just "your daughter is really aggressive"  I keep thinking of that comment and it gets me super angry.  These people are in the business of taking care of children and G is a child.  Have they never managed a child that has ADHD?  I guess they like to be selective with the children they get.  Only those that sit still.  We won't talk about the little boy that asked G if she wanted to see his weenie?  That was G's fault too.  I keep wondering where the adults were while this and other things were going on.  Well, keep praying for my little one and that she's now at the daycare she fits in well with.

The new daycare...

So G started her new daycare.  So far so good.  J thinks its too chaotic and she'll get bad habits there.  Maybe, maybe not.  But she got herself booted from the last one and that's the reality. J is always losing it these days.  She doesn't do what she's supposed to do and he yells that he's going to die soon.  I don't think that's good for her to hear and I'm not sure why he doesn't get it.  He keeps saying it to me as well and it gives me a lot of stress.  He doesn't feel well so everyone has to suffer.  Honestly, I think he'll accomplish dying if he doesn't stop saying it. He is always he should have done this or should have done that.  I'm surprised I'm still alive with the amount of stress he's put me through.  Anyway, G had an episode this morning and all this came up.  She can't control herself and you can say it to her over and over and she doesn't get it.

J is home and new daycare for G tomorrow...

I'm praying for her.  She knows she caused this to happen.  When you have an adult that is not compassionate and doesn't want to help a child, there is nothing you can do.  G is 6 years old.  She's smart but immature.  She doesn't know how to regulate herself.  She knows right from wrong but craves acceptance.  So when someone is giving her acceptance, it's ok to do the wrong thing.  This is what she's thinking in her brain.  It's not the right way.  We need to get her to understand that.  So even though there were other players in the mix of doing wrong, G is the one that got booted.  It breaks my heart because she doesn't understand how she was singled out.  Even when I explain it to her she doesn't get it.  Not totally.  She was always one step away from being dismissed.  The lady said it to me.  G is aggressive.  But the teacher said she was fine.  Two stories about one child.  G didn't mean to hurt anyone.  I'm not sure how a childs scissors can cut someone but if 3 children were playing with the scissors and one of these kids got hurt how did G get blamed for the entire episode.  Lots of unanswered questions but it really doesn't matter.  She has a new daycare tomorrow.  So I'm praying for her.  Praying she behaves well.  Praying she finds friends and acceptance.  Praying she makes good choices.  

Another daycare bites the dust...

It's hard to say what happened.  The teacher didn't say G hurt anyone but they were playing with scissors and someone got hurt. So off to Brain Balance and then they called as her session was ending early because G wet herself.  I had J call them back as I didn't want to talk to them.  They said a little girl was hurt and her parents were very upset and G is now not allowed to return to the daycare.  G said they were both playing with the scissors and throwing them and she didn't know how she got hurt.  But G is being blamed for it.  So there it is. This lady said she didn't want G there so now she isn't.  I don't think it's fair and I'm sure she isn't the only one so let her find out.  I know G isn't a perfect little girl.  My heart breaks for her.  I don't want her to think she's no good.  I want her to grow up and realize there are consequences.  She needs to make better decisions.  She needs to know right from wrong and not go down the path of wrong because others are doing it.  How do I get her to understand that?  How do I get through to her?