Waiting for the shoe to drop...

Yes, that's how I'm feeling right now. Today they had a field trip to a movie.  I'm worried.  She can't sit still for long and I'm sure it'll be used against her.  I found a poem and I can't stop listening to the words on the ballad put together.  I wound up creating a reel on facebook and I've been listening to the words over and over.

Wild Child by Jessica Ulrich

Pray for my daughter, pray for my family.  I want her to grow up to be a happy, successful, well-rounded woman.  I don't want these things to affect her but i'm afraid it will.  

My heart hurts for her…

 I love my little girl so much.  Lately she has been making bad choices.  At daycare a little boy wanted her to kiss his weenie.  They made a game of it and she isn’t 100 percent understanding what she did wrong. He’s her friend and she thinks it’s ok to go that.  Now the lady at daycare is picking G apart for anything that happens.  The teachers write reports and this lady blows them out of proportion.  I’m scared for her.  I feel like she’s disgusted with G and wants her gone from the daycare.  J is feeling that too.  I worry how she’ll feel if they kick her out and we need to find another daycare.  G is smart but she’s immature for her age.  We’re working to improve that but singling her out like this isn’t right.  J is coming home tomorrow and will go speak to this lady directly.  Right now I’m too emotional about it.  I need to know what path to take.  I’m praying G-d can show me the way

Unsure about what happened yesterday...

Yesterday we went to the pool party.  It was nice but really crowded and G met some of her school friends at the pool and really enjoyed herself.  It went downhill from there.  Crying and not listening well at all.  Somewhat improved after eating.  Got her into a bath and I did some cleaning up while she played in the tub.  Dried her hair and we read a book together (she's doing so well with that) and watched a show on youtube for a few minutes before putting her to bed.  However, she didn't go to bed.  She couldn't sleep and kept getting up and coming in my room.  Can I go potty, can we have perogies, I hear a woodpecker at my window, I hear booming (fireworks).  This went on all night till she came in and asked if she can sleep in my room.  When she settled down, she didn't settle down.  Legs up and down.  I finally put the TV on because it was apparent no sleeping was happening.  I can't have another night like this.  It made me angry and I was angry with her. And of course, she cried when she got up because she was so freaking tired.  I need to figure out what to do.  I took away her tablet but her motor wouldn't stop.  I purchased some supplements and hoping this will help her get settled down.  Please pray for us.

The weekend...

It's been an interesting weekend so far.  G got up yesterday and spent some time on the tablet before breakfast.  It went downhill from there.  She was so out of control.  We are both seeing how the tablet is affecting her behavior.  She was getting a medal at her gymnastics class yesterday and it was looking like we wouldn't be going. She was totally out of control and at one point, J wanted me to stay and sit in the training room (we call it that instead of time out now) but I screamed "I need a break".  My adrenaline was pumping and I was close to losing it with her.  He got the point. So we decided to stop the tablet for the weekend.  She can watch some videos right before bed while I scratch her back.  We already set limits to 1 hour/day durning the week and 2 hours/day on weekend.  But she needs even less than that and definitely not in the morning.  

On another note, I have changed the name of my facebook business page to Healthy Womens Lifestyle and put a new post introducing my niche.  People didn't follow me for this so I wanted to be transparent with my intentions.  I'm excited about it but still have some work to do on my website before it's fully finished.

My first canning project...

I'm so excited.  Today I didn't start off well today.  I was feeling down and depressed.  Nearly at tears every once in a while.  I'm not sure why.  Just so many negative thoughts crossing my mind.  Anyway, in the last month, I've been intrigued at canning.  I would love to grow my own vegetables but it's not in the cards right now till we have a house we own.  So I went in search of tomatoes for my first project.  Canning crushed tomatoes.  I bought about 20 lbs of roma tomatoes and basically spent the rest of my afternoon preparing, cooking and canning tomatoes.  I made 5 jars and here is a pic of them below.  I have 3 more in the canner and should be ready soon to remove.  I was careful to follow a lab tested recipe from Ball so it would be safe to consume with risk. I was torn between working on my affiliate business, cleaning or canning.  Since it will be next to impossible to do this with G around, I decided to do the canning.  I've always wanted to try it and we'll see how it comes out. So far so good. I have another recipe I want to try next and it's still waterbath canning.  

Last week of school..

I can't believe my little girl made a full year in school.  She wore the same outfit as her first day and you can see the difference.  In less than one year, she's grown up.  This weekend we have her awards for her gymnastics class and Monday is Memorial Day and there is a pool party to attend.  She loves the pool.  I got some fun things for the pool for her to play with. I hope she likes it.  Today, she met her First Grade teacher.  I can't wait to find out who it is.  

On to my next topic.  I'm still working out the content for my Affiliate Marketing Business.  Writing an article or blog post isn't easy when you need to do research to figure it all out.  I feel like I'm back in school writing essays again.  Whoop whoop.  But this will get me to my end result which is to own my own affiliate marketing business and make money doing it.  In the end I'll do it because I refuse to quit.  And my family needs this.  I worry about the future so much lately.  We're getting low on funds till J goes back to work.  So much so, that it keeps me up at night.  If this works out, it can be a second source of money to help pay down debts or save for G's education.  I just want to make sure I have enough content for about a month.  Then, I can promote on my facebook page to get people to view and hopefully follow.  

I still have some learning to do but taking my time to make sure I do it correctly.  

Here are some pics of my little sassy girl. Her face has thinned out