My heart hurts for her…

 I love my little girl so much.  Lately she has been making bad choices.  At daycare a little boy wanted her to kiss his weenie.  They made a game of it and she isn’t 100 percent understanding what she did wrong. He’s her friend and she thinks it’s ok to go that.  Now the lady at daycare is picking G apart for anything that happens.  The teachers write reports and this lady blows them out of proportion.  I’m scared for her.  I feel like she’s disgusted with G and wants her gone from the daycare.  J is feeling that too.  I worry how she’ll feel if they kick her out and we need to find another daycare.  G is smart but she’s immature for her age.  We’re working to improve that but singling her out like this isn’t right.  J is coming home tomorrow and will go speak to this lady directly.  Right now I’m too emotional about it.  I need to know what path to take.  I’m praying G-d can show me the way

Unsure about what happened yesterday...

Yesterday we went to the pool party.  It was nice but really crowded and G met some of her school friends at the pool and really enjoyed herself.  It went downhill from there.  Crying and not listening well at all.  Somewhat improved after eating.  Got her into a bath and I did some cleaning up while she played in the tub.  Dried her hair and we read a book together (she's doing so well with that) and watched a show on youtube for a few minutes before putting her to bed.  However, she didn't go to bed.  She couldn't sleep and kept getting up and coming in my room.  Can I go potty, can we have perogies, I hear a woodpecker at my window, I hear booming (fireworks).  This went on all night till she came in and asked if she can sleep in my room.  When she settled down, she didn't settle down.  Legs up and down.  I finally put the TV on because it was apparent no sleeping was happening.  I can't have another night like this.  It made me angry and I was angry with her. And of course, she cried when she got up because she was so freaking tired.  I need to figure out what to do.  I took away her tablet but her motor wouldn't stop.  I purchased some supplements and hoping this will help her get settled down.  Please pray for us.

The weekend...

It's been an interesting weekend so far.  G got up yesterday and spent some time on the tablet before breakfast.  It went downhill from there.  She was so out of control.  We are both seeing how the tablet is affecting her behavior.  She was getting a medal at her gymnastics class yesterday and it was looking like we wouldn't be going. She was totally out of control and at one point, J wanted me to stay and sit in the training room (we call it that instead of time out now) but I screamed "I need a break".  My adrenaline was pumping and I was close to losing it with her.  He got the point. So we decided to stop the tablet for the weekend.  She can watch some videos right before bed while I scratch her back.  We already set limits to 1 hour/day durning the week and 2 hours/day on weekend.  But she needs even less than that and definitely not in the morning.  

On another note, I have changed the name of my facebook business page to Healthy Womens Lifestyle and put a new post introducing my niche.  People didn't follow me for this so I wanted to be transparent with my intentions.  I'm excited about it but still have some work to do on my website before it's fully finished.

My first canning project...

I'm so excited.  Today I didn't start off well today.  I was feeling down and depressed.  Nearly at tears every once in a while.  I'm not sure why.  Just so many negative thoughts crossing my mind.  Anyway, in the last month, I've been intrigued at canning.  I would love to grow my own vegetables but it's not in the cards right now till we have a house we own.  So I went in search of tomatoes for my first project.  Canning crushed tomatoes.  I bought about 20 lbs of roma tomatoes and basically spent the rest of my afternoon preparing, cooking and canning tomatoes.  I made 5 jars and here is a pic of them below.  I have 3 more in the canner and should be ready soon to remove.  I was careful to follow a lab tested recipe from Ball so it would be safe to consume with risk. I was torn between working on my affiliate business, cleaning or canning.  Since it will be next to impossible to do this with G around, I decided to do the canning.  I've always wanted to try it and we'll see how it comes out. So far so good. I have another recipe I want to try next and it's still waterbath canning.  

Last week of school..

I can't believe my little girl made a full year in school.  She wore the same outfit as her first day and you can see the difference.  In less than one year, she's grown up.  This weekend we have her awards for her gymnastics class and Monday is Memorial Day and there is a pool party to attend.  She loves the pool.  I got some fun things for the pool for her to play with. I hope she likes it.  Today, she met her First Grade teacher.  I can't wait to find out who it is.  

On to my next topic.  I'm still working out the content for my Affiliate Marketing Business.  Writing an article or blog post isn't easy when you need to do research to figure it all out.  I feel like I'm back in school writing essays again.  Whoop whoop.  But this will get me to my end result which is to own my own affiliate marketing business and make money doing it.  In the end I'll do it because I refuse to quit.  And my family needs this.  I worry about the future so much lately.  We're getting low on funds till J goes back to work.  So much so, that it keeps me up at night.  If this works out, it can be a second source of money to help pay down debts or save for G's education.  I just want to make sure I have enough content for about a month.  Then, I can promote on my facebook page to get people to view and hopefully follow.  

I still have some learning to do but taking my time to make sure I do it correctly.  

Here are some pics of my little sassy girl. Her face has thinned out

My Mom update

Yesterday my mom had a pacemaker put in.  I was told it went ok and she’s ok.  She spent the night in the ER instead of a room.  I remember why I left NY.  My poor mom was basically up all night long.  I'm happy as long as she's ok.  I'll call my sister today to find out more information. 

On another subject, my daughter has been out of control.  According to Brain Balance, she's in a downward trend but it will get better.  We have an observation on Monday and we can watch and ask questions.  This morning when we were getting dressed, she was just hyper out of control.  Couldn't stop moving.  I took her just the way she was (naked) and put her in the chair in the other room.  She was crying because she was cold so I grabbed a small blanket.  I sat with her and asked her to breath deep and look out at the trees. See the yellow leaves among the green.  Listen to the bird talking.  Telling her she has to be quiet if she wants to hear them talking.  It seemed to work.  We were able to continue geting dressed, brushing hair, eating breakfast with minimal problems.  No tablet this morning.  And she didn't ask.  She did so well.  I was impressed with the improvement.  

Some good news and some bad...

I like good news first.  J talked to someone at the LTD office and explained everything to them.  They wanted him to apply for permanent disability or they would only pay a few hundred dollars per month instead of the full entitlement.  They agreed with him that it would be a conflict at this point since he's working at going back to work in about 4 months.  He has some more app at the beginning of June and then the full paperwork can go to the FAA to be reviewed and approved.  He's met each criteria on the checklist and getting the doctors notes as they've asked.  The FAA takes an additional 2 months to approve but I don't see any issues with that.  I'm just grateful he found someone to listen to him.

The bad news.  My sister called me a short time ago.  My mom passed out in Macy's. It's happened before but the doctors could never figure out why.  This time, when the ambulance showed up, they noticed her heart beat was irregular.  Tomorrow she'll be getting a pacemaker.  It's so upsetting.  I wish I can go and visit right now but that's not possible.  I need to plan it out.  But it'll be soon.  

Grateful for step-by-step...

I must say how grateful I am for step-by-step videos.  I'm glad I can rewind and watch it over and over.  Also, so frustrating is that the sites change the way they look so it looks different from what I'm seeing in the videos.  But it seems to be working.  Slowly.  

On another note, Mother's Day was special.  G made something in daycare and it was so awesome.  She wrote "All about my Mom".  I read it and we both had a good laugh.  This was on Friday night.  It was just the two of us and we went to a pizza place to eat out.  She asked for an orange soda and chips while we waited for our pizza. She was so good in there.  Then when we left she asked for a cookie.  I did request she eat it at home but she argued with me.  I had to go get milk for her and she doesn't know how to let things go.  I really wanted her to wait till we got home but she just went on and on. So I gave her the cookie to eat.  I probably should have stuck to my wishes but I try and pick my battles.  The rest of the night went well.  She was tired.  J came home on Saturay, late afternoon while G and I were at the pool.  She really loves the pool.  After about 2 hours we had to leave.  On Mother's day morning, G and J went out and got me breakfast from McDonalds which was lovely.  Then they went out again and came back with a cake that G requested for me.  Rainbow around the cake with white icing.  2 roses and fancy writing.  Strawberry filling.  YUMMY.  We waited to eat till after dinner.  And yes, we had another 2 hours at the pool.  Love the pool.  Love the splashpad.  

Now if Brain Balance therapy would just start working, we'd be in good shape.  

Planning for my online business..

So I'm planning it out. I think it would be wise to get all the pieces put together before I go and watch the building of the website. I'm super excited about this process.  Spark by Clickbank walks you through it step by step.  Accounts are set up, Niche has been selected, now, I'm working on writing some articles or blog posts to have on my site once it's set up.  I'm going to aim for about 5 articles to start with.  Then I'll build the website.  I'll add new articles once a week and hopefully post on facebook to gain traction and have people sign up.  We'll see how that works.  I've been putting a spreadsheet together of expenses so I can keep track of what I spend.  I'm taking it all in slowly and taking my time so I can do it right.  I know there are no guarantees but I also know that consistancy and positive mindset go a long way in making something work. 

Mother's Day coming up this weekend...

Well, J let me down yesterday. He was supposed to leave yesterday and be home today. Instead, he left today and will be home tomorrow. I'm physically and mentally exhausted. G is exhausted from Brain Balance trips. We made it through the week but today is McDonalds day and last week didn't go very well. She was crying and tired but couldn't tell us what was wrong. And when we finally went, she just ate and got upset about the noise. I'm thinking of going to get some pizza and eating at the restaurant.  Maybe she'll like that.  We'll see.  And of course, since I'm working, trying to get packages out in the mail is almost impossible. So Mother's Day for Grandma's will arrive during next week instead.  I seriously can't do everything.  Let's hope someone didn't forget about me on Mother's Day.