Next big day...

Embryologist called me this morning with the details.  I had 13 eggs.  One didn't mature but the rest have fertilized and are growing strong.  She believed it would be a 5 day transfer.  I asked her if that was a definite because I would change my travel plans.  I told her I was worried because we had done this with frozen eggs and it didn't work out.  I was worried about the quality of J's sperm.  When we hung up I was still deciding if I would leave tomorrow or wait till Tuesday.  Then the on-call nurse called me and confirmed that it would be a 5 day transfer and all the embryos were growing strong.  I pray she's right.  So I changed all my plans and will leave on Tuesday now.  I'm so nervous and scared.  I just need to keep reminding myself that it's all in G-d's hands.  

The first of many big days....

At least I hope it is.  Step one terror:  tomorrow my donor goes through retrieval.  Step two terror: will J's sperm defrost and have live sperm present?  Step three terror:  if sperm is alive will they fertilize our eggs?  Step four terror:  will they live to day three?  Step five terror:  If they all live to day three, could they live to day five and will the doctor want to do that?  Step six terror:  Did they use the correct sperm to fertilize our eggs?  These are the thoughts that go through my mind day in and day out.  I know it's all in G-d's hands.  I have no control and it's hard to deal with.  All I can do is put my life in my doctors and nurses hands and especially, G-d's hands.  Here's to successful retrieval and fertilization.