Not sure what to think....

I know this whole thing has been a long shot but I've been feeling cramps like I'm getting my period.  On the first 2 IVF's I didn't get my period till I stopped all the meds.  I had pain but not cramps like this.  I'm hoping it's a good sign but who knows.  I've been taking HPT since yesterday.  They are positive but each one I took gets lighter with each try.  I had an HCG booster shot so I did expect to see a positive.  I just want it to stay that way.  According to what happens to the embryo, HCG should enter my system starting tomorrow.  I plan to take another test when I wake up.  I know I'm just torturing myself and wasting lots of money on all these HPT but I can't help it.  I want this to work so badly.  It's just so important to me.  I don't want to be sad anymore.  I want to be happy and excited for the future.  Is that too much to ask?  I feel like everyone seems to be able to get preggo but me.  My former coworker had her daughter in her 40's.  I just want to be a mom.  I want us to get to the next chapter in our lives already.   We've been married for 13 years and trying for a baby for the last 8 of those years.  Haven't we waited long enough.  Anyway, the 2ww is almost over.  I have a BT tomorrow morning to check my hormone levels and Pregnancy test will be on Friday.  Till then.