In need of hope....

It's Sunday morning.  6AM.  I woke at 4 and decided to take another pregnancy test.  Yesterday one of them was positive but I had an HCG booster on Friday. Today it's gotten lighter which means its leaving my system and the pregnancy hormone is not present.  My head says it too early to detect.  I'm only 9 days past ovulation.  My heart says something different.  I feel broken.  Until now I've been able to put my life in my RE hands and trust them.  But this is beyond them.  They have taken it as far as they can go.  It's in God's hands to do the rest and if it's not meant to be then it won't be.  It's just the thought of me not being pregnant makes me sad.  Two actual embryos were put in my uterus.  Something that was part me, part J.  We made 2 babies and I just want them to exist.  I want them to be a part of my life for the rest of my life.  I'm trying to keep the faith and pray for them.  It's so hard when I have no signs.  I know only time will tell and Thursday, I will have my blood test to confirm whether or not I'm pregnant.