Ups and downs...

It's been challenging lately.  G seems like she has had the upper hand for so long that she doesn't realize that the adults are in charge.  She has some refresher schoolwork to do before school starts on 8/5 and she's been very difficult about working on it.  I got to the point that I took her tablet away and she had a full blown tantrum in the car and at home.  Tore up the car, the living room, kitchen and bathroom.  But in the end she did the homework.  One freaking page and 2 hours of digging her heels in and refusing to do it.  The following week, on Monday she did great.  I said she can have her tablet in the car as long as she gives it to me when we get home.  She wanted to make slime and she did a few questions, then made some slime, then did some more questions while I made dinner.  So peaceful.  Tuesday was another story.  She refused to give me her tablet so I said she won't get money for her field trip on Wednesday.  When I had dinner ready, I took her tablet and locked it up.  Then the tantrum started.  Tore up the living room again and messed up the bathroom.  Eventually she ate dinner and did 2 questions.  Then said Dad said she can have money if she did 2 questions but that was much earlier before dinner and before she tore up the living room and bathroom.  So last night, she kept saying "money" over and over again.  I ignored and got her ready for bed and she continued when she got up this morning.  Cried all the way to daycare/camp.  I warned the director of the situation so she was prepared.  But man. She is one strong willed girl.  Strong willed and neurodivergent.  Quite a combo to deal with.  

I have learned from this.  She has choices she's making and she can control herself.  I know that her behavior is several years younger than she actually is which makes it hard for her to connect with girls her age.  It breaks my heart.  But at the same time, I can't have her grow up to be a spoiled, self entitled young woman.  As hard as it is I know I'm doing this to help her in the future.  I'm scared that she'll say something that will eventually get her in trouble and taken away in handcuffs.  Right now, her words aren't taken seriously but as she gets older, they will.  And at that point it'll be too late for mom and dad help her.