I wonder if it's all the hormones just going back to it's normal self. Every day I feel something different. Lately, it's been sadness and despair. Not all day long. But a lot of the time. I feel tired, drained, sad and alone. J seems oblivious sometimes. He works on his models all day and night and doesn't seem to notice that I need him to be with me. Why is it like that? Even when I ask him to stay with me he doesn't really do it. Why doesn't he get it? Seems that he only notices when I don't get up and just stay curled up in bed for long periods of time. Otherwise he's just in his own world. I feel like I have to do everything. Pay the bills, take care of the cats, clean up the house. He just builds his models and that's all. His job is done. I'm the sucker that has to work all day and come home and work all night. Maybe that's also why I'm feeling sad. I want a partner and I'm not getting one. And right now, I need him to be there for me and he's not.
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