Bittersweet as this year is coming to a close...

2016 was a crazy year for me with lots of new.  I'm still experiencing the new.  I don't know when it will become old.  Maybe never.  Last year I was enjoying my pregnancy and around this time I was getting her nursery set up.  I was nesting and it's hard to nest when you need help to complete your tasks.  A year ago I couldn't imagine where I am today.  A mom.   I'M A MOM!  I love her so much and can't imagine my life without her in it.  She's everything to me and more.  She's my hopes, my dreams.  Last year I was growing my belly and now my days are so crazy busy.  I start a 4:30 am and pump milk for my girl.  Then I take my shower and get ready.  About 5:45 AM, I eat breakfast.  6 AM I get the little one up.  Feed her and dress her.  6:30 AM I pump again.  7 AM finish getting little one ready and myself.  Pack milk, cereal, fruit.  I get whatever I can figure out, snacks, water.  Pack pump and supplies.  J takes little one to day care and I go to work.  Where I pump 3 more times during the day.  The day flies by and before I know it, it's time to go home.  Pack up my milk from the work day and drive home where I pump again at 6 PM.  Prepare little one's dinner, my dinner, and we play for a bit before I change her for bed (bath a few times a week).  Milk at 8 PM and out by 8:30 PM.  In the meantime, I again pump.  If it's after 9 PM, I'm done.  If it's 8 PM, I might pump again.  But it exhausts me.  The pumping and breastmilk is less than a month from being over.  I'll have time on my hands for sure which will be spent with my little one.  I'm trying to figure out what to do for her 1st birthday.  We'll visit family but it'll probably be next year. Right now, I'm trying to figure out a holiday card (Feeling guilty because I didn't send out all my Thank You's like I should have) so I can thank everyone for the gifts they sent us.  In the next week, I should have everything set for that.

Time is flying by...9 months old

I can't believe this year is going by so quickly.  A year ago, I was in shock that my dream of being a Mom was finally coming true.  And now, I'm in the throws of it all.  We have our difficult moments.  The moments that I can't make her happy or stop her from crying but I can comfort her and love her no matter what.  I treasure it all.  I love changing her, feeding her, putting her to bed.  I love baths and when she blows raspberries in my face.  Her determination at getting Curtis and never succeeding...yet.  Things she loves:  Her Daddy for sure. Daddy singing songs to her.  Her oatmeal with fruit and some veggies.  She also loves her stuffed animals.  Hoping she loves me too.  Things she hates:  Having her nose wiped.  Having her mouth wiped.  Sitting by herself.

Update after 6 months of a new life...

I now know why people stop blogging.  The days go by so quickly when you are caring for a new human being.  It's hard.  So very hard and J and I aren't so young that we bounce back easily.  The first month was just getting used to a new way of living and healing.  After that she got Colic and when that ended, it was time for me to return to work.  First week in day care she caught her first cold, then her second put her in the hospital for 3 days.  Now she is 6 months old and I can't believe it.  She is the light of my life.

The final week: 36 weeks, 3 days and our birth story...

This week was a very special week.  On Christmas morning, I got up at 1:30 AM to use the bathroom.  For a while now, I feel the urge to pee but not a lot comes out.  Baby takes up most of the room in there.  Anyway, this time I went and it kept on going.  I told J that something was wrong.  He said just lay down and see what happens.  I did and kept on leaking.  I knew we had to go to the hospital so I started to pack my bag but J stopped me.  He was convinced that the hospital would say we were over-reacting and send us home.  Well, turns out my water broke and baby was still breech so they called my doctor and she arrived by 3:30 AM.  I was wheeled into the OR and they did my epidural there.  I felt nothing from the neck down.  It was hard to talk or breath.  I was laid down, sheet was put up, anesthesiologist was talking me through everything.  J was brought in and they had him sit down and hold my hand next to me.  He took out his cell phone for pictures.  The next thing I know, I'm looking at my baby through the screen.  12/25/16,@3:59 AM she arrived,  She is 5lbs 15oz,, 18.25" long and perfect in every way.  We named her Giuliana Rose.  Being held up and spread all out she started to cry.  J took her picture, then he went over to cut the cord.  He took more pics.  They laid her on my neck to do some skin to skin to skin for a few minutes.  It was hard because I couldn't really hold her. After that, things are a bit blurry.  I went to a recovery room but I really can't remember it.  Only what J tells me.  I do remember being moved to the post-partum room.  The three of us stayed together in that room.  I remember thinking on the operating table that this is really happening. That today, we are becoming parents.  It all felt like an out of body experience.  Before going into the OR when they told us we were delivering in the next hour, J thought of the fact that we didn't have a middle name.  She was 3 weeks and 3 days early.  She had some blood sugar issues and body temp issues but so did I.  I just can't believe how much love I feel for her.  I can see J does too.  He loves holding her and cuddling with her.  He's even good with changing diapers.  We came home on 12/27 which apparently is record breaking time.  Everyone I speak to has said they have been in the hospital for 3-4 days.  I just wanted to go home and sleep in my own bed.  J is here and looks after me when necessary.  She's now 7 days old and we're trying to get into a routine as hard as it is but I'm so loving every moment of it and loving every minute of our little angel.