14 Years....

It's so hard to believe that J & I have been married for 14 years.  I often wonder about how we're still together after all this time.  The years seem to have flown by (no pun intended) but at the same time I recall many moments of waiting for J to come home.  We've had to live apart for nearly 10 months and then even when he was supposed to be living at home, he only managed to get home for 4 maybe 5 times a month. This has pretty much been the last 5 years.  This last year has gotten much better.  He really lives here now and we can enjoy our time together.  Our money issues have gotten better too.  We actually went out to celebrate our anniversary this year.  The last 5 years have been such a struggle so I think we really earned it.  A friend of mine mentioned a Brazilian Steakhouse that's nearby.  It was expensive but it was a special occasion so we splurged for once.  J really enjoyed it too.  I was a little annoyed with him before we left for the restaurant because we argued about me carrying his tobasco and steak sauce (his own concoction) which he said he couldn't live without.  I couldn't believe he wanted me to carry that into a nice restaurant but I knew if I didn't take it and he couldn't get the sauces he liked, then I would never hear the end of it.  So, I found a very small jar and in it went and yes, he used it....very discreetly.  Anyway, we stuffed ourselves silly with so much meat, salad, meat, bread, meat.  I think you get the drift.  Well, I was just so happy that J enjoyed himself.  Now, time to get back into my good eating habit and exercise routine. 

Picking of a Donor....

This week has been rather crazy.  Super busy at work but it seems to finally be winding down.  I had some time at the end of the day and was happy to get a call from the donor coordinator.  She was checking on the availability of one of the donors we were interested in but she hasn't been able to reach her.  Phone number has been changed and she hasn't answered her email.  I guess she wasn't too serious about being a donor then.  So then she had a donor that wasn't listed. She sounded great till she said she had colorblindness in her family.  I believe it was her grandfather.  Anyway, I told her that wouldn't work for us since J is a pilot, J's dad is a private pilot, J's grandfather built an airplane, half brother is a pilot, sister is married to a pilot.  I'm not saying we are going to have a boy or that even if we do, they'll want to be a pilot but it does seem to run in the family.  I was convinced of this when my mother-in-law gave me J's first book.  He used to have her read it to him at bedtime.  I think it was something like "Airplane specs....".  Anyway, 4 years old and that is the book he wants his mom to read to him at bedtime?  That to me says aviation is in the blood of J and his family.  And it would break my heart if we had a boy and they wound up with colorblindness and wanted to be a pilot.  Any boy we may have would have a 50% chance of having it and that is too much of a chance.  So then we went through all the donors.  Another one I'm interested in is getting ready to start a cycle and won't be available till May/June.  That is fine with us since we won't have all the funds needed till then.  I asked her how long it would take since we are doing a shared cycle.  Turned out she didn't realize that.  She said it could take a lot longer to get matched.  After our conversation, I felt so discouraged and depressed.  I've been trying to see if we could do our own cycle but it's a lot more money.  About 5K more.  I just need to keep the faith that this will all work out for us the way it should be.  I just need to be patient and keep on saving that money.