Lazy, rainy days....

I guess rainy is better than snowy but either way, I'm not feeling motivated to do much. So far, we've gone grocery shopping and now I'm touching up my hair.  I think that today is pretty much a wash for the big cleanup.  Wish the weather was nicer.  Well at least my hair will look nice.

J's vacation schedule comes out on 12/1.  Looks like he didn't put much thought into it.  His plan was to get a week off in January and then in February.  However, he didn't really look at the weeks and chose week 1 and 4 and they are both in January.  As soon as we confirm his vacation, I plan to review the flights to Raleigh and call the clinic to make an appointment.  I feel really excited about this.  These last months have been difficult and filled with severe mood swings.  Sometimes hopeful & excited, then sometimes in despair & sadness.  It doesn't help that the bills from the last IVF are still outstanding.  I don't know how it's going to end but my feeling is not good on my side.  I've learned a valuable lesson in all this. Get everything in writing.  They were very convinced that it would all be covered under my old plan and now that's it's all gone wrong, no one wants to help with fixing this.  I'm trying not to get upset about it but it's life changing.  I feel duped. Anyway, I plan to fill out the appeal but I'm not feeling very hopeful at this point.  In the end I will talk to both creditors and work out the smallest payment plan ever. It will take years to pay it back and if they have an issue, they can take it up with my RE's office since they are responsible for insisting that it would all be covered. Anyway, I'm sick of thinking about this and writing about it.  It's still the same no matter what.  Right now, I need to try to focus on the positive things happening.  Praying that next year is going to be our year for our baby dreams to come true.

Week of Thanksgiving....

Finally, J left for a trip so I can finally post.  I love having J home but I get nothing done when he is here.  Anyway, I can't believe it's been over a year since I began my infertility treatment.  Well, technically, we've been trying for the last 8+ years with no luck but the aggressive treatment with an RE was started in Aug 2010.  I had such hopes that IVF would be the answer to our baby dreams.  I'm still holding out hope for next year and I'm getting excited that it's almost here.  Plus, I've been working hard at getting healthy.  I've lost more than 10lbs and my blood sugar is going down too.  It's not completely normal but I have faith that I can get it under control and keep it under control.  My doctor has mentioned that this is progressive so one day I could be on meds of some kind and most likely will be on meds during a pregnancy for sure.  I've been going to the gym 3x/week for the last month.  I'm trying to up it to 5x/week like the doctor wants.  I really like how I feel after and like the results I'm seeing. 

Thanksgiving is only 2 days away and J will be home.  I decided that a traditional turkey with stuffing is in order.  And of course, Kahlua Chocolate Cheesecake for dessert with a simple Ganache (I didn't tell J about the Ganache, it's a surprise).  Usually J is off flying somewhere till after the holiday so this is a treat for us and I'm excited about that.  We are also doing a major house cleaning.  He's taking care of the basement and I'm taking care of the rest of the house.  It's going slower than I'd like but I got inspired today when watching a hoarders episode.  I'm grateful that even though I get lazy about throwing stuff out, I do know when it's time to do so.  No therapy needed for me in that department.

It's been awhile....

Hmm. I haven't written in over a month.  I've been working really hard to keep up with this diet.  Today I got on the scale and it looks like I have a slight setback.  My Dr is happy with my blood sugar readings and weight loss so far.  They have been between 100 -120 pre-breakfast but I just switched meters and it's now a lot higher than that.  Around 130's.  I guess different meters can be set differently.  I'm trying not to let that get me down.  Also, sometimes I feel like J is sabotaging me a little.  He'll make some dessert and insist that I try it even though he knows I'm battling diabetes.  He also has been wanting to go out to dinner to buffets.  It's been a bit frustrating for me. On those nights, I've seen a significant increase in my blood sugar.  I seem to have better outcomes when J is away on a trip.  I choose better foods than he does. I do push to eat more chicken.  I buy them from the Walmart already cooked.  It's delicious, cheap and my blood sugar is usually in good shape.   I have a follow up with my doctor at the end of December so hopefully, with some more weight loss, exercise and monitoring my carb intake will have made a difference.  I really don't want to go on meds.

On a happier note, it looks like J will be home for Thanksgiving.  He is working on Tues and Wed though so I hope he is able to get home.  If not, we'll have Thanksgiving on Friday which is typical for a pilots family.  We rarely get to celebrate on the actual holiday so this will be a treat if he makes it home that night.  I have huge plans for that week as well. I plan to do a deep clean around this house.  I've neglected so much this past year and it's about time I get it all in order.  I had no idea that IVF would take such a toll on me.  Maybe because it didn't work and physically needed to recover.  Plus, it doesn't help having issues with the billing still.  I wound up writing a letter to my RE about the bills not getting paid as promised.  I called the other day to follow up and the receptionist seemed more friendly than the last times I spoke with her.  The last time, she said I need to call this one and that one.  She didn't want to deal with it.   I guess it wouldn't have upset me but all the bills still haven't been processed through the insurance company.  I asked about what's happening with the hospital portion of the bill and she said it should be reprocessed.  I'll give it till the end of November and if nothing has happened then I'll have to do another call or letter if necessary.  I hated writing the letter but I don't think my RE was aware of the billing issues and we couldn't get past the receptionist.  She is supposed to handle the billing.  Oh well.  Hopefully, it will be smooth sailing from here and this chapter will be closed soon.